it's all about the future

Welcome to the year of TIGER.. ROAR!

2010-02-19T15:20:00.001+08:00

Happy New year to all.. found something and decided to post it here.. true enough to a certain extends.....

Soul responsibility.

Why are we here? Are we born to procreate and die? If so, should finding the perfect mate be our sole responsibility? Or, should personal goals be our primary concern? Most agree, the answer is in finding the appropriate balance. But, is that really possible?

How do two people balance each other out when they’re realistically standing on different beams?

If the whole concept of a relationship is to work together and become one or one unit working on behalf of two, who’s personal goals become the priority of the unit?

Can two people, who have different personal goals or dreams coexist in a relationship without making sacrifices that will infect and eventually change ones own individual soul?

Can your love for another human being change the blueprint of what you thought your life should be about?

And, if we only have one life to live, should we as people allow this to happen?

It’s obvious that making sacrifices is an unavoidable obstacle in every relationship. But, as conscious human beings, aren’t we all silently keeping score?

So, where do you draw the line? In an ideal relationship, how many sacrifices does it take to stop you from loving someone or knowing they’re not “the one” for you?

On the flipside, how many times can you allow someone to give in to your needs before you start to lose respect for them?

Sure, it’s a constant balancing act. But, at what point does love blur the lines so much that it starts to rob you of your own identity or make you feel like you’re stealing somebody else’s?

How can two people be true to themselves and do what’s best for the two?

Are we all organically lonely people selfishly searching for someone to accompany us on our own journey we’ve planned for ourselves or is there a perfect match for each and every one of us?

Do soul mates really exist?

If you agree life is about finding the balance between self fulfillment and your commitment to another human being.

Ask yourself this… if you were the only person or obstacle standing between your loved ones dream, would you risk losing them forever to allow them the opportunity to live it out?

Could you make that sacrifice?

If you didn’t, do you think the relationship could still survive?

HeLLLLLo

2009-12-27T02:32:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas and a BIG Happy 2010 NEW YEAR to all..

i noe i have been missing virtually and perhaps in person.
been really busy with my things..

anyway.. jus somethings to remind myself..
new year new resolution:
1. quit smoking
2. be more independent
3. make more money
4. live my life to the fullness
5. let me think.. =)

loves,
kim

2009-08-29T01:15:00.001+08:00

tire.. stressed.. moody.. exhausted.. sleepless.. pain..

where's my life..

27th August 2009

2009-08-27T23:15:00.000+08:00

got my day off today..
went to the dental as planned...
had two of my teeth filled.. and...
got my wisdom tooth extracted..

ouch... 2 injections..
and within minutes.. the tooth is out..
oMg.. its so numb.. but had to take painkillers..
total.. spend 350 on it..
the tooth is with me now.. =)

after tooth extraction..
went for my car inspection..
windscreen, tail-lamp, head-lamp and number plate..
ALL FAILED!
wth.. they give chance to all except.. head-lamp..
went to change headlamp.. back to lta again..
den pass.. went back to put back original white bulb..
then.. the bulb burst.. spend another $90 for it..
hiax.. total for car inspection.. 152.06..
feel broke le lo.. =(

after everything.. got snacks and drink for bb..
then left to meet fen for simple dinner..
chit-chat session w fen since we had not catch up for sometime..
bb came over and had his dinner..
poor bb.. meeting till 8 den leave office..
after dinner.. then.. i send fen home and bb went home..
after i send fen home.. i headed home..

mummy called mi.. meet her at s11..
saw meixian and frenx.. chat a while..
left for home.. now.. feelin so sleepy after washing-up..
i wanna sleep now le..

nite nite..

straight work weeks

2009-08-23T17:02:00.002+08:00

recently.. i've realize my daily life is jus purely work and eat then slp..
wake up go work.. dinner.. head home.. SLEEP..
i'm deprived of SLEEP.. roars!
less shoppin.. less movie-ing.. less meeting up with friends..
even less meetin up with fen.. weekly meet-up also stopped le..
and as usual.. kaixin went missing due to work as well..
guess everyone are jus busy with their own stuffs..

and i guess.. school started for all.. juan, bao and meixian..
poly friends also getting busy with school as well..

erm.. as for mi...

its been tiring..
been working for the whole of the week since last last week..
saving up off days jus in case i need it for emergency..
anyway.. i need it pretty soon..

went for dental check up last tue during lunch break..
and realise its been a long time since i visit the dental.. -.-"
den.. had the normal cleaning and...
dentist told me.. i need to remove my wisdom tooth!
wt-tooth.. wisdom tooth didnt complete growing..
now.. it gotta be removed.. cause.. it start to decay le.. =(

the next appointment will be next week..
and my 'kept' off will be put up to good use now..
i tot the off could be kept till the day i wanna use for holi..
but.. =(

anyway.. it seems like a scary experience..
friends went for it.. some told me..
its not painful.. while some says its painful..
some gotta operate to get it out.. while some dont..
dentist tell mi mine dun need to operate.. jus removed..
wad does jus removed mean?
bb was tellin me.. they'll knock the tooth into small pieces..
then.. they had this suction thingy to suck the pieces out..
i was like.. (T.T)

i scare of the needle tat is goin to be poke into the gum..
scare of the pain.. the procedures.. omg..

drained!

2009-08-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

time realy do flies... i have already work for 1 and a half months.. coming to 2 soon.. and.. yup.. it does really get me busy and at the end of the day.. i only wan a simple dinner.. perhaps a walk along some park or garden.. then head home to slp.. to walk in park and garden is jus another way for me to digest the dinner i ate ba.. =P
though i noe it doesnt really help.. but still better then sleeping straight away after dinner.. =)

this week... which means in a while more.. i will be starting to work on sundays.. so.. which means.. i will be workin full for the time being till there are new part timers coming in.. anyway.. i dun really mind ba.. since its part and parcel of life and work.. off days at the moment will become accumulatives.. till further notice..

come to think of something he said..
i am 23 tis yr.. what have i done so far?
what kind of achievements do i have?
anything i have done to prove to myself or my family?
or am i jus day dreamin and living life as it is..
yea.. 23.. perhaps its still young.. but..
time really passes very fast when u dun have the time to notice anything..
by the age of 30.. what kind of achievements i wan?
and now its time for mi to think..

after tellin me..
i jus feel so lost..
yup.. perhaps a little empty..
cant think of anything i have achieve since..
kinda disappointed in myself..
n disappoint my parents ba..
cause the very least i could do is by spendin enough time with them..
and yet i doubt i have done so..
but somehow or rather.. relationships between my sis and i become better..
to me.. its a good sign.. as for brother.. ha.. its still the same..
(i love him.. and i dote on him..)

alright.. i am really gettin tire and sleepy..
shall continue the next time..

nights.

loves
kim

'bai wu long'

2009-08-03T18:38:00.002+08:00

went to work as usual..
work today.. was busy like the others..

busy wit meetings.. checking stocks.. inventory.. cashiering.. etc..
talkin about meeting..
i m so sad and at the same time angry over what happen last sat..
due to the promo our co. was having..
to bring awareness to our new branch..
so the promo came in.. as well as inconjunction w national day..

crowds are comin in.. its never like the usual..
usual were already bz.. now its even more bz..
with a handful of us.. newbies.. its not easy to handle our customers..
music instruments.. simply.. i noe nuts abt them..
cant really answer those questions cust post..
is already something tat make mi feel so useless..
learning.. yeap.. i m learning.. but jus too many..
feel bad as i always had to refer to adam or pin for info..
but its not as bad as the first day i m at work..
but anyway.. had an earful from adam after work last sat..
the first time.. due to work.. i m getting an earful from him..
i noe i m at fault too.. perhaps.. its jus his words ba..
anyway.. over le.. i also dun bother to explain anymore..

checkin stocks and inventory..
the best things in retail workplace i think..
so many things... i dun noe them.. they dun noe me..
and i have to learn them all..
till today.. i think i already noe some of them le ba..
but details knowin.. i gotta study deeper ba..
provided i got the time to do so..

and wad is so best abt today inventory checkin..
the joke of the day lo..
walkin up n down the shop..
searching high n low for the particular electric guitar..
its missing la..
got pin to help mi to search too.. she also go up n dwn..
in the end.. the guitar was being transferred back to the warehouse..
everyone jus so 'kan jiong' abt the missing guitar..
and mi.. didnt state in the list.. causin everyone to be bz..
-.-" so paiseh la.. make everyone search high n low w me..
anyway.. think i m becomin more of a joke ba.. haix.. =(

today i guess.. is the most 'bai wu long' day ever since i work..
haha.. -.-"

hao le ba.. work is tiring yet i m happy workin..
been OT-ing but i have no complains.. =)

out of work.. side talks..

argh.. i feel so dunno where i m..
i hate tis feelin..
seems like so many things i did/do/done..
all were wrong.. or should not have do it in the first place..
sucky feeling..

now.. i wanna feel alone..
be alone.. i hate quarrels..
i hate agruements..
i hate being misunderstood..
i hate to be accused..

anyway..
I M JUS FREAKIN TIRE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF..
CANT EVEN BE BOTHERED TO EXPLAIN..
IF I M THOUGHT TO BE AT FAULT.. IN THE WRONG..
JUST LET IT BE.. I M AT FAULT..
NUTHING.. PERIOD!!!

SINCE I CANT BE A GOOD FRIEND.. A GOOD GIRLFRIEND..
JUST BE IT.. I M A NONSENSE.. =)

sick & tire
kim

i m tire.. yet i feel happy..

2009-08-03T18:23:00.002+08:00

went to malaysia jusco with bb ytd..
walk.. shop.. eat...
and yup.. i think i m growing fatter and fatter..
(can go n die liao..) =x

bought a few things.. mainly are my cosmetics accessories..
basically jus spend a day off relaxin ba..
had our tea at starbucks..
and thanks to bb.. took so many of my unglam photos..

well.. till now.. though we r tgt not long..
but the time spend together are real long..
perhaps its due to working together at the same place..
and it jus make me feel tat we are tgt for quite long le..

thinkin back.. its really funny.. we noe each other abt 2 years back..
now, we are together.. used to be uncle to me de him..
and me a xiao mei.. its so funny..

anyway.. hope tis will work out.. =)
i noe it may be too soon to make the comment..

=)
kim

sin?

2009-08-03T18:11:00.002+08:00

some deep thoughts that i have..

am i a lousy friend?
am i someone who always screw up things?

i dun wan anymore misunderstanding..
too many things..
whether is it misunderstanding..
whether i m the one tat causes the thing/s..
=(

anyway.. if i did screw up things..
if i causes misunderstanding..
or any unhappiness..
leaving anything out..
i'm sorry..

anyway.. i m n tryin to improve myself every other day..
to be a better person..

=(
kim

tire

2009-08-01T18:40:00.003+08:00

i feel so tire..
works fun.. yet busy.. and i hardly breathe.. -.-"
but i still love my job.. =)
busy better then doin nuthing.. haha..

tis few days.. after work.. had tea session with him..
and poly friends yesterday nite.. den headed home to rest..
anyone.. wanna get guitar/electric piano/etc.. can find me wor..

anyway.. goin to off work le.. yea..
i wanna have a good rest.. =) cheers..

sick

2009-07-29T18:02:00.002+08:00

i didnt turn up for work yesterday.. was on MC..
anyway.. jus sleep my day.. then.. meet fen for dinner..
as usual.. =)

now at work.. finally get some breathing space now..
had a 'quarrel' with him over some nonsense..
well.. to me.. it is really nonsense..
and i noe.. i should at least think in his shoe..
but it jus seems like our msg jus cant get across each other's head..
not even a month and quarrels start..

i feel so tire of it.. i got out from the previous one due to quarrel..
the previous previous one was quarrels too..
will this end up the same way?
is this my problem? or is it his problem?
or in fact.. i shouldnt be in any relationship..

tire,
kim

self-reflection

2009-07-27T03:25:00.003+08:00

this post may be a little too self-centered i guess..
cause its all about me, myself and I..

many things happened since.. to me at least..
i realise.. i am such a lousy person in fact.. not as good..
i am not as good a daughter to my parents..
i am not a good friend to friends..
i am not a good girlfriend nor do I know how to be one i guess..
i jus feel that i failed my life.. utterly failure..

seems like.. i have been doing the wrong thing at the wrong time..
tryin to be more tactful, sensitives towards others but i mess it up everytime..
is it the more i wanna improve myself? the more i hurt others?
or am i jus been condemned?

i've been tellin myself.. i need to grow up..
i need to learn.. i need to be more sensible..
i need to be tactful and sensitive to others..
but this while.. i feel like the more i wan it to be..
the messy i get.. my brain cant think..

now.. my brain really cant think.. it felt so empty..
the only word in my mind.. i am TROUBLE.
things dun seems to be smooth for me..
or is it my own problem? i am jus too timid..
always so filled with uncertainty and mysteries..

where's my soul?

i'm sorry..
kim

Happy Birthday

2009-07-24T13:37:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday to xiufen! haha.. finally 23 le.. welcome to the club.. lolx.. erm.. had a mini celebration at xing wang at marina square.. had it with fen & kor, kaixin and tao, me and him.. had some photo taking.. but i will upload it soon.. =)

anyway.. hope you like the presents and enjoy the celebration with us.. hee..

random and busy

2009-07-22T15:57:00.002+08:00

well.. kinda late for some greetings..
on the 16th july.. Happy Birthday to Jason..
on the 17th july.. Happy Birthday to Andy..
=)

recently.. i hardly had anytime for online.. super busy at work.. after work go dinner with him.. and headed home.. the next thing.. sleeping in my cosy corner and await for work the next day.. =) work really take up most of my time and i am really enjoyin it though i m really tire.. enjoy the work environment.. the instruments.. the people.. the paperworks.. the music courses.. and the meeting every morning.. =x time do passes fast this way.. and.. i seems to be puttin on weight ever since i started working.. and noe wad? this is my 3rd week of work.. how time flies.. *hmmmmmz*

the other day my poly friends asked to go for the movie.. The Haunting in Connecticut.. and i agreed to it.. surprised isnt it? haha.. for someone like mi who dun go for horror movie and yet i agree to it.. cause i wanna see my 'fear' level.. and after agreeing.. i asked him wanna come along.. so he did.. anyway.. same thing.. i watch the first 15mins or so.. before the scary thing come out.. i close my eyes and 'shut' my ears.. haha.. and the first part actually took mi away.. i got a shock and i'm trembling.. i jus grab him by the hand.. yao siu! but there's story line to it.. not tat bad (my poly fren told mi..) throughout the whole movie i jus in shock and fear.. ok.. in short.. i didnt watch the movie la.. only the front 15mins.. haha.. i noe i m kinda useless.. XD

yesterday.. our katong branch event started.. and it last all the way till late.. end around 1030 to 11pm.. after the guitarist left and we doin all the cleaning and packing.. meixian also started her first day part time job with us le.. and it really make her busy i guess when the people who came in.. cause she gotta tag all the bags for baggage since no bags are allowed in the clinic session.. den while relazin we took a smoke break.. toilet break and we took pictures.. she look rather exhausted and tire..

after everything.. suppose to meet pong, juan and bao.. but in the end never as they went to pick up something and headed to sing.. meixian, me and him.. we go eat after work as we are super hungry i guess.. and after food.. we are really exhausted liao.. so he fetch us home.. so we postpone the meet-up..

oh.. i really had no time to upload photos.. sorry people.. will do it asap..

alright.. head back to work liaoz..

2009-07-17T18:45:00.006+08:00

someone told me this:

"one day, jesus was walking down this road, and there was this prostitude that was running down the road with many people chasing after her.. she fell in front of jesus.. jesus asked what happened, the people that were after her said that she was the most sinful person and they wanted to attack her with stones.. so jesus told them.. who, that had no sin would be the first to threw the stone at her.."

ok.. anyway.. i really enjoyed working at music centre.. time pass faster down here i guess.. and the classes in the music centre gonna start soon.. excited.. haha.. will be seeing many kids coming in.. but before that.. had to go thru those meetings and learnt all the procedures and instructions for classes.. =)

birthday celebration

2009-07-17T11:55:00.004+08:00

had my birthday celebration the other day with him, xf, kor and kx.. went to fish and co.. thank you girls.. there's always the 3 of us celebrating for our birthday every year and makin it a memorable one..

of course that's not all.. not forgettin juan, bao and meixian.. meet them at JTL and then we headed to down to club sabai sabai.. along with kopi, ah beng, sisi, felix and frenx.. we enjoy club sabai sabai.. had our drinks and had fun there.. but.. i gotta leave early as i gotta work the next day.. =( why no birthday off? lolx.. else i can party till late.. hee..

anyway.. the moment i reach home.. i started to throw up again.. (-.-") and.. the next day.. wake up for work at 8am.. =(

yup.. a big big thank you to all my dear girls.. xf, kx, meixian, juan and bao.. i love them and their company as well.. guess without them.. there wont be laughters around me..

alright.. erm.. about my work.. i love my job.. i really do hope i stay long here.. i like the colleagues and they are fun.. workin together with them are fun as well.. though there are alot of moving up and down.. but its still fun and time really pass faster when i am at work.. =P ok ba.. gotta go work le..

-to be cont..-

Happy 23rd Birthday to myself

2009-07-15T15:32:00.003+08:00

Happy 23rd Birthday.. haha.. another year older which means i have to learn how to think more.. no more playing.. but work hard and earn more money..

thank you to all my dear frenz.. for wishing me and celebrating my birthday for me.. i appreciate and i love it.. thanks for the presents too.. will upload the photos when i load them.. most of it will be in the facebook i guess.. =)

and.. a special thanks to him.. indeed everything are surprises.. i didnt expect all these.. but i really appreciate it.. =)

ok.. another HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all July babies.. may all the wishes come true and be happy always..

its a tiring week

2009-07-14T02:41:00.002+08:00

its been a tiring week.. working working working.. play play play..

ever since work starts.. though its only like a week plus.. this is the 2nd week.. i starts to love my work.. and my work place is a very unique place.. the first time i work in an environment full of girls but they're 'butches'.. i didnt mean offensive here.. but jus find that its rather unique to work in this kind of environment.. =) they are friendly n really are.. plus they are really strong for a female..

anyway.. i m now currently workin in swee lee music co.. i like the environment.. hee.. i hope i stay long here.. =)

gotta slp le.. nights. meeting at 9.. yawn..

late for work

2009-07-07T14:03:00.003+08:00

alright.. in office now.. and.. i am late for work today.. overslept dao bu xing lo.. -.-'

currently.. waiting for email.. so.. i m here..

i find work rather boring now.. mayb its jus me.. -.-" but still i noe i had to work.. else i'll have nothing at old age.. dun even have a single cent to stay in old folks home lo.. haha.. so.. now i gotta get myself used to the distance.. the work.. the colleagues.. the stuffs in the office.. "'

i very long.. damn long.. never see miss tan le lo.. everytime only me and miss goh meet.. dunno where is tat miss tan.. anyway.. she also busy with her work la.. and busy pa-tohing.. lolx.. anyway.. if miss tan.. u happen to read tis.. do let me noe when is ur free day ok..

i love my life now..

month of July

2009-07-06T13:33:00.002+08:00

how time flies.. and i am just gettin lazier and lazier.. -.-"

got a job now.. but i guess.. it wont last me long.. cause i don't really quite like it after working here.. i noe.. i dunno what i want.. i noe.. i need to work.. i noe.. i cant get lazy le.. but.. this really do not seems to be what i want.. what do i want actually.. seems like i am a person with no direction.. and i realize that.. -.-"

feel rather restless.. and tire.. jus feel like hibernating still.. at home.. grr... i wanna rest..

well.. get to meet up some long-time no see friends for the past few days.. and i get to meet up with my girlfriends yesterday.. bao.. juan and meixian.. i jus love it when being with them.. =) went steamboat with bao and meixian.. then headed down to juan's place to chill.. then.. home..

yup.. long-time no see friends.. my poly friends.. my ex-colleagues.. haha.. its been such a long time since i met up with my poly friends.. well.. they are still the same.. funny people.. as usual.. meet up with them for movies, la teh sessions and of course.. mahjong sessions.. haha.. will meet up with you guys soon when i got the time now..

i gotta end here.. gotta go back to work.. will update soon.. =)

2009-06-23T22:38:00.001+08:00

thanks alot for telling mi.. i appreciate them all.. will change for the better me..

i hate myself for it.. blame myself for it.. =(

sick,
kim

i am sorry

2009-06-23T12:21:00.002+08:00

i really need to reflect on my actions..

if i were to explain myself further.. it may jus mean nothing..

i am really sorry for not thinkin for your feelings..

i'm sorry,
kim

am i missing you?

2009-06-23T03:09:00.002+08:00

alright.. everything is fine.. =)

did nuthing much today.. accompany mx go nyp to get her notes print.. then head off to safra yishun to swim.. haha.. i m so tire.. but jus mx suggest for some water dipping session.. so i agree.. by the time there was like 7pm or so le.. enjoy and relax for a while then we head for dinner then to celebrate her fren birthday..

today.. i m home pretty early.. or maybe not.. =x
i realise i have been out late almost everyday.. and i did enjoy my companies of frenx.. =) now.. i wan a proper job.. jus spend time earnin my money.. perhaps it'll jus filled up some space and time within me.. =)

there's this indescrible feeling deep within.. i wanna noe.. how.. why..

misses,
kim

wad a wild night

2009-06-21T02:24:00.005+08:00

yesterday was a wild night i think..

meet up with bao then we head down to sabai sabai to meet meixian, lijuan and colleagues.. meixian's sister and friends were there too.. and later on.. caiyun, con and friends also came down..

Sabai Sabai is good.. well.. somehow i love it there.. the live band is good.. the singers were really pretty and shuai.. especially one.. haha.. they're friendly too.. =) anyway.. meixian getting abit drunk or rather way too high quite early in the night while we are still drinking.. later on.. where caiyun, con and friends came to join us.. and.. caiyun.. i think she also super duper high.. cause she's loud and she kip playin games with us.. haha.. and they left around 3 or 4 in the morning.. well.. we took a number of pictures.. anyway.. i will want to go again with the gals.. i love their company.. its always fun with them around.. =)

as most of them left already.. so left.. juan, denny, meixian, meixian's frenx and mi.. and i think meixian was way high.. so.. she went back first.. while.. meixian's frenx ask juan and me to continue drinkin at another pub.. since juan didnt had enough of the drinks.. well.. both of us are still quite sober.. mayb jus high.. =)

so we continue drinkin at boat quay with the friends.. well.. this is the first time i went drinkin till morning.. when we step out of the pub.. its like daylight.. bright in the day.. had some food.. then we all headed home..

some photos to share.. taken in sabai sabai.. loves..

juan, bao, me & meixian.. ( i look freakin fat can..)
juan, me, bao, denny, meixian
me & bao

yeah.. before i end.. i should mayb party less.. mayb start workin soon.. well i dun like sales jobs.. but still i am goin for one.. i wanna go for corporate ladders job.. is there any out there for me.. some one with no experience.. =( haix..

oh.. i dreamt of something sweet.. i hope it'll be true..

loves,
kim

2009-06-19T17:29:00.002+08:00

went to popeye with meixian and meibao yesterday for dinner.. think its the day where i really ate alot.. haha.. then.. we talk till like 1am den send bao home.. and headed down to juan house to find juan.. hee.. so far la.. one end of the island to another.. =X

i think i m hibernating.. been sleepin all the while.. hiax.. and i been dreamin alot.. haha.. and suddenly i miss this someone so much.. think its the dream that is makin me feel so.. (-.-")

yawn.. meetin meixian later.. wanna have a nice weekend..

my millions thoughts

2009-06-18T03:05:00.002+08:00

erm. i did say i had a millions of thoughts in my mind isn't it from the previous posts.. too many things in my mind.. sometimes jus feels really down.. sometimes i jus feel that i finally got my freedom.. so what exactly am i feeling?

really down..
no doubt that i still think back.. think of him.. so many things jus flows like the water fall in my mind.. didnt really shed anymore tears le.. but still will miss the times spend with him..

and sometimes..
i jus feel so happy.. i finally had my freedom.. i shouldnt look back.. there are plenty of things waiting ahead for me.. the new adventure life.. beside relationship and love.. there are lots and tons of things for me.. meeting up with long lost friends.. goin out to party.. goin out for movie.. dinner.. supper.. and there are no restriction for me.. i dun need to tell anyone my whereabout.. dun need to report this and that.. i jus feel so freely.. perhaps i was really tied down by him the other time.. even with telling the truth.. he still doubts me..

true enough there are many other things awaiting in front of me.. now.. i wanna get a proper job.. to earn money to fullfill my dream.. =) and perhaps.. next time i can drive big cars and live in big houses.. (ha.. dreaming..)

now.. spending time with all my friends.. its the most precious to me.. i really had lotsa fun with them around me.. i love you gals.. your really brighten my days and ur are my pillar of support.. thank you.. you noe who you are.. =)

i wanna get a job.. =) a proper corporate ladder for me to climb... in a few years time where i can see myself in where i am.. then get marry to a rich man son.. lolx.. (another dream.. -.-") ok ba.. shall post till here.. continue again..

dream dream dream..

love and missing,
kim

thai club

2009-06-18T02:54:00.002+08:00

its been a tiring day for me.. yawn..

i've been sleeping like for the whole of today.. except goin for the interview.. after the interview send alvin to plaza sing den head home to rest.. my stomach cramp like crazy lo.. and today.. also a day which i nv go out to drink and party.. =)

meet up with lovely 'wife' xiufen.. pass her the clothes she asked mi to purchase for her.. had our usual dinner at xinwang.. bitch for the few hours and bro came down to fetch her.. and we headed down to mama.. cause i meetin meixian and juan there.. and as it's a tue.. so most of the usual people are there for their bball.. =) stay awhile.. chat.. and we left..

next, went to club sabai sabai with juan, meixian and denny again.. tis time round never drive.. so can drink.. =) we open the 2nd bottle yesterday (as previously they opened one already).. guess it was finished ba.. as i left the club early.. cause got interview today..

its really been so long since i had fun.. drinkin.. dancing and having fun with the gals.. haha.. gettin high.. as now.. most of the time was.. i drink too much and it all jus go wasted.. really enjoyed the company of the gals..

sabai sabai

2009-06-16T04:06:00.002+08:00

meet up with teresa, laode and andy for dinner and supper.. its been so long since we sit down at prata shop to bitch.. haha.. they are funny... and guess we are havin mahjong session soon.. since the guys are goin to ord soon.. ^^

after that.. meet up with meixian, juan, nanxing and denny (juan's cousin) at ken's pub.. ha.. they usual routine.. today i m not drinking.. cause driving plus got early interview tomorrow.. after ken's pub went to sabai sabai.. first time there.. not bad.. stay for awhile and i headed home first.. cause gotta slp early.. yet i am still bloggin.. lolx.. ok la.. shall continue again..

many things in my mind..

missing still,
kim

marina barrage with the girls

2009-06-16T03:50:00.004+08:00

oh.. went to the barrage the other day with bao and meixian.. took a number of photos.. so now i m goin to upload a few here.. wanna view all.. go to my facebook.. hee..

gathering with poly friends

2009-06-15T05:23:00.002+08:00

woke up around 2plus in the noon yesterday.. then.. receive laode's msg.. sayin meeting to celebrate derrick's birthday later around 7pm.. will be goin to thai express.. meanwhile.. i jus havin fun with the new software for iphone which pong gave me the other time.. downloading games.. haha..

so.. went to grandma house to meet up with all the relatives.. after which.. headed down to vivo to meet up the rest of the guys.. kl,ben,eug,andy,jason,yixian,wendy,laode,teresa.. haha.. so where is the birthday boy.. DERRICK! he put all of us aeroplane.. actually i also dunno why he nv turn up.. but.. they say he put aeroplane.. its been such a long long time ever since i meet up with them.. feel weird meeting them up.. like i am out of the group.. from my dressing to talking i guess.. after dinner.. headed for movie----Land of the Lost--- erm... funny movie.. but.. mayb not my category ba.. all i see was like.. dinosaur chasing people.. lolx.. anyway.. i enjoyed meeting up with them.. =)

after vivo.. went down to fetch juan and meixian.. and we headed down to ken's pub.. i didnt realy drink as i was driving.. chill for an hour or so.. headed down to juan's place to chill.. talk n talk den juan fall asleep.. and so we went home.. oOoo.. home sweet home.. =)

loved & missing,
kim

2009-06-13T05:22:00.002+08:00

i am supposed to be sleeping now... and.. thanks to mr xiao qiang who crawl into my room.. it is a super big mature cockroach la.. wth!! called mummy up to killed the cockroach.. it can still happily crawling la.. kaox! anyway.. its gone.. perhaps dead.. haha..

i am so tire.. meet up with juan n meixian yesterday.. and we went halo again.. 3 of us.. finish 2 shuttles.. one of mx's fren came later on.. but didnt drink much.. something happen and it was so funny.. lolx.. den we headed home when they closed..

while on the cab alone.. i was sheddin tears.. was cryin again.. haiz.. i wanna dream.. i wanna move.. i wan a better life.. i wan to marry a better man, a millionaire.. ok.. tis is dreaming.. -.-'

meet up wit cousin today for sushi.. yummy.. my favourite.. sushi tei.. cousin treat mi.. so nice of her.. n she ask mi abt him.. n i told her.. no more le.. sad.. after dinner.. we were walkin around the mall.. den head home for her.. n mi.. head on to meet bao n meixian..

we went to some pub with mx's fren (coffee) den to fly.. den after fly.. head home.. so nice of coffee to send mi n bao home.. =) i'm tire.. wanna rest le la.. all thanks to mr cockroach! -.-"

tire & missing
kim

2009-06-12T02:20:00.000+08:00

i misss you very much..

loves,
kim

some photos

2009-06-11T15:58:00.004+08:00

Macau:: The Venetian & MGM Grand

MGM Grand
The Venetian:: me & bro

Mummy-bro-me

bro-mummy-sis

Star Cruise with daddy & sis Double O on 030609

my girls..

cheers ^^

my darlings

kexin-me-weishan-kat-lijuan-meixian

emotional

2009-06-11T15:00:00.003+08:00

i am so tire.. i noe.. i am at home.. but.. think i slack way too much.. been sending out resumes resumes resumes.. yet i didnt receive anything yet.. i feel so redundent and sad.. anyway.. the world dont seems to be in recession.. cause u can still see people Q-ing for branded stuffs in malls.. so y arent they hiring still? OmG.. I seriously need something to do.. something to take my mind off.. to fill up my time.. to allow me to grow..

i slept like 6am in the morning.. wake up around 130pm.. tire of course.. but i cant get back to slp.. today.. waking up feeling so heavy.. its again all about him.. i should have let go already isnt it.. i noe.. but.. its jus the feelings.. i also understand.. my friends.. my family.. they're all the pillar of my strength.. they can be my listening ears.. giving mi advices.. lending mi a shoulder.. cheering me up.. keeping mi company.. at the end of the day.. its still myself to face the music.. to pull myself up.. no one could help.. and all this are part and parcel in life.. anyway.. i love them still..

erm.. i realise i need to change.. to grow i guess.. its my attitude and temper again ba.. (i dun mind frenx remindin me where i go wrong..) perhaps i did change a lil on my temper and attitude.. but not alot.. and after a fren told me abt it.. i realise i may need to change.. but i guess no one is perfect.. though i noe abt that sentence.. i still feel that i need to change more.. becoming a better person.. a better girl.. =)

oh.. went out to movie with the girls.. relax.. meet up with meixian and coffee (her fren) for some tea session.. den meet up with bao for dinner... and movie with them.. watch Hannah Montana.. nice movie.. got 'shuang ge' inside.. haha.. after movie.. we shift up to find juan.. so we went to her house.. chill chat.. play wit luilui.. so cute la.. she cut her hair.. haha.. so small.. wish i had one too.. too bad.. mummy scared.. den after juan house was supposed to go for supper at bukit timah.. den mx's fren call.. so we went down to some pub.. after pub.. den supper den home..

argh.. i hate the feeling inside me.. wanna remove them.. and i noe its only myself to remove them.. nah! wake up wake up wake up..

shall post photos later.. and continue later..

emo & loved,
kim

trip to hong kong with family

2009-06-10T14:55:00.002+08:00

i am back.. haha.. went to hong kong and macau with my family.. its been so long that the whole family went abroad together.. shopping was really fun there.. shop and shop and eat.. well.. i guess i shop alot.. and my sis and bro eat alot.. haha..

meet ah pong over in hong kong.. so nice of him to bring us around and treat us eat.. i feel so bad.. cause he spend like a lot.. (sorry..) and.. ah pong was good fren w my bro.. while we shopping.. dunno where the 2 of them go lo.. always end up in the hotel early in the day.. den say they went to swimmin pool see girls enjoy the air.. -.-"

after 2 days stay at hongkong.. we went to macau to find daddy.. this time round.. the room he book.. was so super big.. its like.. 3 times my house now.. nice and shiok.. and expensive too.. and pong also came over to meet us on the second day in macau.. sorry ar.. i went to 'zhuhai' le.. so only left u and my bro.. didnt mean to put u airplane de.. next time.. you come back singapore.. i treat you ok..

and indeed i really shop alot.. my family went there with 4 baggages... and we return with 8 baggages.. and out of the 8.. 3 were mine.. haha..

hong kong and macau are fun.. i wanna go again.. stay there.. eat drink shop.. better if i could work there.. haha..

well.. at times.. i still think.. think.. of him..

to be continue....

loves
kim

finally.. meet up with fen

2009-06-05T05:39:00.003+08:00

ok.. misunderstandin cleared!
finally.. meet up with my dear 'wife'.. xiufen.. at last..
no misunderstanding.. jus her being busy..
went to xinwang for dinner.. gossip for abt 2 hours..

den headed to movie with a fren.. BLOOD..
after movie.. headed down to meet meixian and juan..
was gossiping and talking for a good few hours..
then back to juan house to watch vcd..
meixian funny la.. the ghost nv come out she close her eyes liao..
while juan helpin us to do manicure.. nice nice..
but i spoilt it.. so sad.. and i had to rush home..

erm.. guess tat's all for the day..
i wanna meet up the girls soon soon soon again.. =)

oh ya.. bao, mx, pong, your de chinese powerful la.. haha..
but i noe.. you guys are tryin to help me and support me..
thanks.. and to the other girls as well.. thanks for the concern..
i love my friends... =)

kim

i'm so dead drunk..

2009-06-05T05:27:00.003+08:00

its been such a long long time since i party with the gals.. weishan, kexin, caiyun.. and of course.. lijuan and meixian.. and.. as usual.. went club.. and.. they were sayin i slim down.. haha.. mayb jus grief tat's y ba..

since the examination is over for ws n kx.. so, we went to party.. but.. guess i jus got all wasted.. didnt really drink alot.. but guess.. its because i am feeling down ba.. i tot i would be able to party and dance throughout with them.. but.. ended up.. i went home early again.. sorry gals.. next time perhaps.. again... =)

we went phuture to get our stamps first.. headed to double o for drinks.. didnt really drink alot for us.. gone! remember was at the dance floor with cy, ws and kx.. dunno where juan n mx went to.. ws asked mi to go toilet.. after toilet.. on my way back to the dance floor.. i threw up.. hiax.. and i cried.. think kx was there too.. and i think i told them what happen between me and him.. sorry weishan.. guess i scare you and i make u cry with me too.. but.. thanks alot to weishan and kexin.. else i think i b lying by the road side.. (-.-")

headed home then.. reach house downstair also threw up.. guess this is the worst i got ever since.. didnt realise i feel so damn sad over the lost of him.. the pain.. hiax.. i tot i had gotten over him.. was actually telling juan the other day.. i've gotten over.. i wanna pick myself up.. but.. who knows.. anyway.. got home bath and headed to bed..

waking up tis morning.. feeling freaking giddy.. and i slept for the whole morning and afternoon... well done kim! -.-'

thank you girls.. to be there for me.. when i needed you people.. =)

drink drank drunk dead..
kim

2009-06-02T04:06:00.006+08:00

wow.. another sleepless night.. but i guess i spent it happily.. usefully.. cause i had my friends around me.. love them.. thank you for being there for me..

well.. yup.. thank you bao and pong for the numerous tags.. haha.. of cox not forgettin.. juan and teresa.. hee.. ya.. i'll let the time heals my wound.. though sometimes its really still painful... but i am working on it.. i am picking myself up... =)

like i say.. sometimes in a while.. of cox i do think of him.. yea.. knowingly its not worth my time.. whatever.. but.. its still feelings ma.. and.. i already put in and tried all i can.. but nothing could be change.. so at least i got it once... and.. at least i've being loved and be loved then never to have love at all.. i've tried.. no regrets.. and now.. i wanna love myself more..

thank you mr. pong for the following msg..
[[曾經以為很難忘記的人，隨著時間的過去，雖然忘記不了，但已慢慢地淡忘。忘不了，因為這個人、或這件事情曾經在記憶裡出現，洗不掉。淡忘，隨著時間的過去，有新的事情要面對，根本沒有時間想過去的人、事情。不需要害怕淡忘不了，因為生活總有另一樣比淡忘重要的事情出現。

「放下」是一件很難做到的事情。做不到「放下」就是「放不下」，「放不下」另一名稱是「執著」。其實，「拿得起，放得下。」這句名言，我們很少時已聽過。但....說容易，做很難。「拿起容易，放下難。」「放下」最佳方法是順其自然，待時間去淡忘、去治療心靈傷痛。而當我們要自己一次、一次又一次去面對一個早已知道的事實；直至有一天，已經不再那麼痛、那麼辛苦；直至有一天，發覺原來很久沒有再想起那件事、或那個人的時候]]

mayb the time now is.. i should learn to let go freely.. learn to stand up again.. grow up.. loves the people around me.. my family.. my friends.. the people who love me.. i noe you will be there for me.. always.. pillars of strength..

ok.. well.. sometimes i also think if i am too sensitives or... am i offending people not knowingly or.. anyway.. i jus dun wanna lose a long time friend, a sister and besties.. really.. i feel something that is bothering me.. i dunno why.. is there some misunderstanding? jus let me noe if there are any.. =)

loved & lost,
kim

2009-06-01T18:45:00.002+08:00

so many days had passed.. tears had flown.. well.. i guess.. i m tryin to get up standing again.. though i noe many ask mi to jus forget it.. get the hell of the 'pit-hole'.. yes.. i will.. i noe.. but i am trying.. i am getting up slowly..

different people do have different feelings and ways of handling ba.. i admit i am slow.. but at least i am trying and i am pulling myself up.. i did not give up myself..

anyway.. there seems to be some misunderstanding btw fen and me.. dun really know what is really goin wrong in between.. somehow or rather.. well.. gal.. if u read tis.. pls text me ba.. been texting u.. but no reply.. jus wanna clear the air if there are any misunderstanding.. =)

alright.. i need to get a life.. i need back my own life.. friends been tellin me... family are the most important.. there are worst cases out there.. etc etc etc.. i noe.. i noe.. i will understand.. i will get my life.. i will live it down.. i will try to stand up again.. and.. i noe.. friends are my strength of pillars.. they are here for me when i am really down.. thank you girls.. love you.. =)

*hope mx's mom will be fine..

lived, lost
kim

2009-05-30T04:10:00.003+08:00

was sleeping for the whole of yesterday.. mummy bought mi food.. but i am jus so moodless that i had no appetite at all.. continuing my sleep all the way till night time.. bao msg me.. and i told her what happened.. so we meet to go to the beach..

this few days i am always at the beach alone.. except for today.. i've been crying so much.. all the memories jus float in my mind.. so much tat i really couldnt slp.. the way how we get to know each other.. how he used to wake up at 4am in the morning in camp to secretly talk to mi, how he celebrated my birthday, how we start our quarrels everything.. but seems like everything jus changes over night..

we broke up not more then 2 weeks.. and he aready meetin new girls.. and wad is so nice about it.. he text mi yesterday tellin me he had a new girlfriend.. telling mi how important she is to him.. how happy he was when he was with him.. tellin me.. she will be the future wife of his.. tellin me how acceptable she is towards his family.. telling mi that will be the last partner.. so.. all these sentences and words were told to me way back last year around the same timing like this.. he asked mi to be his last partner.. asking mi to settle down.. telling mi how happy and how 'xinfu' he is when he is with mi.. now he was telling the same old thing to the new girlfriend he is having.. so was it true tat he had a new girlfriend.. or its jus that he is jus tryin to make me move on with my life.. i dun wanna think..

i noe friends will be telling me.. stop deludin yourself.. its the facts.. cause got friends already saw him goin out with females.. i noe.. but i also noe he is of no such person.. but why.. why is he changed overnight? i really DON'T UNDERSTAND!

my heart simply breaks into pieces.. why am i always ending up with such returns.. when i literally put in my heart and effort into the relationship.. it will always turn out this way.. look at me and joven.. i put in.. and i noe i had foul temper and attitude... we always quarrel.. den end up he got to noe some girls at school.. den break up wit mi then together with the girl..

den jim and me.. we were so good.. though we also had our quarrels.. but i give in to him.. not saying he didnt, he did too.. but most of the time i am the one givin in to him.. den.. as well..i put in effort and my heart in building and salvaging the relationship.. and wad did i receive at the end of the relationship? break up still.. and wad best it is about.. he get a new girlfriend real soon.. i felt so painful..

i feel terrible.. too many thoughts been wondering inside me that i really couldnt slp.. i wanna get away from here.. i jus feel so afraid to go out.. to see him with other girls or holding on to another girl hand.. i jus wanna hide myself at home.. i jus wanna cry my lungs out.. i noe i m useless.. i m a weakling.. i jus cant face it..

i am also surprise that i actually fell so deeply for him.. so surprise.. i tot it was jus something like that.. maybe.. i shouldnt go into any relationship.. cause.. the ending will always be the same.. i really resign to fate.. i am jus so tire of gettin into a relationship.. gettin to noe new people.. goin into courtship and the dating cycle.. it is jus too tiring and too painful an experience..

mayb i should jus get rotting at home.. go back to school and buried myself in books.. den finally die at old age.. anyway.. bro was sayin to get me a puppy to cheer me up.. dunno if its true.. tryin to persuade mummy.. or mayb jus buy le then say.. or perhaps.. jus dun buy.. i really need something to divert my attention.. but i noe.. my heart and my soul wont be there..

i feel like a zombie.. the wound so fresh.. the pain so intense..

dead
kim

why?

2009-05-29T03:01:00.003+08:00

why does things always turn out this way.. i feel very heartbroken.. n i m alone by the beach.. i wanna cry out loud.. but i cant.. i miss him so much... i only wan him..

is it havin or wanting a simple relationship that difficult? i jus wanna find someone who can give mi a simple relationship.. be there for mi when i need him.. a shoulder to cry on when i need.. love mi.. then get marry.. is it so difficult?

i jus dunno how he make mi fall so deeply for him.. ily..

dead,
kim

2009-05-26T04:05:00.002+08:00

well.. i cant slp for the whole of ytd.. den finally.. i got to slp after some cryin.. but was waken up again not long after.. i feel like a zombie.. i jus cant stop my thinking.. i wanna be strong.. i noe.. the problem is not whether i wan or not.. is whether am i determine enough or not..

again.. i cant slp.. when i am entering this entry.. i am really trumbling.. i could feel it.. i feel the coldness in my heart.. there's this chills down my spine.. my heart seems so painful.. so painful that i wish cutting myself in either ways could help mi divert my pain.. i feel so much like crying.. the chills inside me.. i feel very frighten..

i wanna cry..

kim

2009-05-25T06:17:00.002+08:00

frenx were telling mi to give up.. to be strong.. to be back to what i m.. not worth cryin over for guys like him.. some says.. why am i so suay.. always kanna such kind of guys.. and i am always askin myself.. why am i always the one gettin hurt at the end of a relationship..

i noe.. i understand.. i've tried.. but i jus cant work things out.. too much.. too much being controlled by my feelings.. i m so tire of myself.. i jus wanna rant it somewhere.. there's really nuthing much or anywhere i can rant it out (except here perhaps!)..

dun really noe what i am doin for the past few days.. yea.. drinking with the gals.. so much.. my heart is really not there.. as in.. yup i m with my gals singing, chilling, shopping, drinking.. but yet! my heart is not with mi.. my mind is so empty.. the only feelings i have.. pain! nothing else.. sister asked mi to movie.. its hilarious.. but i jus cant smile.. sister tried to make mi happy.. change coins for mi to make mi catch the bears in the ufo machine.. but also no mood to do it.. ya.. i can feel my sister's love for mi.. thanks.. but simply.. my heart is really not with me..

well.. everyday seems perfectly fine for me.. but.. i jus ended up cryin every night before i go to slp.. or tryin to drink some beers before i go to slp.. jus to get myself into slp.. next day wakin up feelin the stupid painful mind trumbling.. and i feel sick.. so.. taking panadols again to ease the headache.. not cause by the beer.. but.. i jus simply cannot slp.. i can be sleeping like 7 or 8 am in the morning.. its always wakin up at 1045 or 1049am.. its been days...

again.. my tummy on strike again.. no appetite for whatever delicacy on my table.. seeing food somehow.. i feel sick as well.. i lose myself again.. (T.T)

also.. tryin to meet up the frenx.. mahjonging.. etc.. i really can feel my heart is really not with mi.. yup.. mahjong at the table.. my mind is somewhere else.. jus wish somehow.. it jus stop working for a moment.. i really dunno how to bring it back..

i really hate myself very much.. i simply a weakling.. i feel so sick.. i cant slp.. i cant eat.. my heart is really not with mi.. yes yes yes.. i noe.. he is really not worth my time nor my youth.. i noe.. i jus cant work my way out..

love, lost & dead,
kim

2009-05-23T16:15:00.001+08:00

it has been so many days.. yet i am still feeliing the same..

i had no courage to brace myself up..

i miss him lots..

lost,
kim

2009-05-22T02:09:00.003+08:00

been drinking again these days.. went to ken pub.. kelvin pub etc.. with the girls of course.. thank you girls for accompanying me these days.. been drinkin.. not drunk but high.. and it always ended up with the cab driver makin me feel so much like puking..

yesterday was like home at around 7am in the morning.. thanks to the cab driver.. i feel so much like puking.. reach home.. feel so damn sick.. jus take a warm shower and headed to bed.. yup.. cryin.. i've bottled up.. and i cried.. i noe i still have feelings for him..

i wanna get drunk and get dead.. i m simply so sick and tire of myself..

dead,
kim

2009-05-20T21:09:00.002+08:00

yet another day.. after lunch with frenx.. got back home.. and i am feeling all the heartaches and pain.. i feel so sick and tire of such feelings yet i cannot get rid of them.. i decide to let it go but i cant.. i am too much controlled by my feelings then i am to control my feelings.. i noe wad is right and wad is wrong.. i noe i am big enough to think.. i noe many things i should and should not do.. but i am jus so lack of the strength to carry on and to move forward.. i feel very painful deep down.. i noe i m a loser.. i do not even had the strength to start and fight the 'battle'.. i feel really much like cryin.. feel so much like dying.. i noe its not worth.. but i simply jus hate the state of mind i m.. hate the situation i m in.. hate myself for being too emotional and a loser.. i really hate this phrase of my life..

i noe its my fault..

lost,
kim

2009-05-20T14:00:00.001+08:00

its been such a long time ever since i feel this happy for hours.. yup.. happy for hours.. and its really such a long time.. i am out to pub with friends to drink, chill and get together.. went to ken's pub with meixian, lijuan, feng, teck and kiat.. reach there around 12plus.. drink.. chill.. sing.. everything.. haha.. the pub actually closed at 1am.. but he allow us to stay there till 4plus am.. so poor him gotta slp in the pub.. a

nyway.. back home feeling giddy due to the cab i took.. sick lo.. anyway over.. home and gone to bed afer wash up.. and i feel sad the moment i lied down.. really sad.. i miss him.. we've not in contact ever since.. (~.~)

lost,
kim

2009-05-19T02:23:00.002+08:00

haha.. jus read meibao's blog.. lolx.. misunderstandings.. haha.. okok.. we shall continue our chill out the next time ok.. and we shall OFF our phone.. lolx.. XD

alright.. went for manicure and pedicure with meixian today.. haha.. thanks gal for the mani-pedi treats.. haha.. got our nails done together after so long.. we've been sayin it like since dunno when and now finally.. got it done.. haha.. den.. after the nails.. we went for breakfast+lunchie+dinner.. lolx.. and headed to tampines, century square to do our hair.. haha.. really enjoy our 'taitai's' life.. haha.. doin mani, pedi and hair in one day at one time.. haha.. sound enjoyin eh? by the time we got our hair done was like nearly 8pm..

i got my hair treated.. my hair was so dry la.. so sad.. it was damaged.. anyway.. i also had my hair cut! my fringe was cut short..erm.. kinda irritatin now.. cause it kip poking my eyes.. haha.. anyway.. i still love my hair.. =)

meet juan after the hairdo.. went to selegie for tou huay.. meixian me and juan spend abt an hour bitching away.. haha.. anyway.. i really love the time spend with you gals.. haha.. i really love the company of my girlfrenx.. tot of goin drinkin actually.. but we were jus 'broke' so eventually.. we went home.. we shall meet up again yea? haha.. with the other gals as well.. haha..

how i wish.. i could really enjoy life as a taitai with a loving man supporting my every needs.. haha... ok.. cause today goin out with meixian doin all these.. really make mi feel like a taitai.. sometimes really wish i could find someone and jus get marry.. haha.. no dating cycle.. haha.. but again.. even after marriage, there's divorced too.. so.. its again contradicting.. =S

i need a job.. argh! i need a break! i need money! i need time! so little of everything.. =(
and how have you been these days?

love and lost,
kim

2009-05-18T05:20:00.001+08:00

if that sorry was referred to mine.. and yes, i am really sorry for what happened the other day..

2009-05-18T04:52:00.002+08:00

had my post-mothers' day celebration today at east coast park no signboard restaurant with all the relatives and mothers and grandmother.. as usual.. this time round.. had lesser people turning up for the dinner.. but anyway.. the food there, the standard there.. DROPPED! its not as tasty or yummy as before, but the price remains the same and more expensive..

and as usual.. relatives start askin me about him.. its like so tiring gotta repeat myself.. quarrels.. its really so damn difficult maintaining a rs.. anyway.. jus enjoy the dinner.. enjoy the sea breeze.. den home sweet home for mummy..

headed to meet up with meixian.. actually wanted to go sing k.. and so we ended up at cineleisure.. instead of goin k, we went to see if there are any movies.. and no movies.. we played the ufo machine.. spend a few dollars.. finally got the chance.. and got a super brown 'hamster'.. next.. we went to halo bar at SIM to look for ken.. stay awhile.. as halo close at 1am.. so.. find juan for supper since its so near her place.. after supper.. home sweet home for all..

and me.. i cant slp.. so sipping away beer while bloggin..

_______________________________________________________________

was talkin to a couple of friends these days..
they were right about what they have told me.. it's not worth it..
if he cares, he will call or even text.. but NONE, is what i receive..
too many quarrels.. too many controls.. too many of the little things.. which really turn everything sour and bitter.. one of my fren, A.. he told me.. perhaps its because of the lose of assurance in the beginning.. that is why it turn out this way.. no matter how much i put in.. it will be very diffcult to build that assurance and trust back to place.. cause the insecurity will be there.. i find it true.. especially for guys like him.. there maybe no way of turning back..

very tire of the relationship cycles.. perhaps, human beings are jus soo contradicting in their decision making.. whenever they are in a rs.. they tends to find being single is good.. while the singles will find that being in a rs will be good.. contradicting eh? haha.. but seriously.. the cycle is tiring.. gettin to know each other>>>dating>>>quarrels>>>break-up>>>heartbreak.. everything jus go back to square one again.. mayb to me.. the most tiring part is the b/up and the heartbroken part.. gotta stand up and learn to 'walk' again.. or rather.. i am jus not that 'strong' enough.. finding myself rather weak.. indeed.. perhaps already start hating this part of myself..

i had so so many feelings trapped inside me.. i really dunno my directions.. i feel like crying.. yet there's nuthing rolling down my cheeks.. i wish i knew what i could do.. i wish i could be straight forward.. so i wont feel so miserable inside.. i noe i noe, i am weak..

love and lost,
kim

2009-05-16T19:10:00.002+08:00

alright almost forgotten..

finally get to meet up the gals yesterday for dinner.. kat, berlin, lijuan, meibao, con.. went lucky plaza to eat the ayam penyet riat.. guess its spelled this way.. was nice.. and a bit spicy.. haha.. after dinner.. we went to zouk.. well... i had no mood of clubbin.. but i feel like drinking.. den at zouk, meixian came over to meet us.. lolx.. long long time since we girls meet up.. or rather jus me meeting them up.. anyway.. in the end, only kat, berlin, juan and con went to club.. meixian lehx.. get the chop from phuture den stay awhile and go to st james with her colleagues to celebrate her farewell from c&c..

so left me and bao.. we decided to go to wine bar at zouk for a few drinks and then headed home.. but who knows.. wine bar was jus fully pack.. and in the end we went over to ken's pub for drink instead. and we should have went there in the first place.. stay there for a drink, snack and sing for like an hr or so.. frog called..

sorry bao.. gotta leave early.. xiufen was drunk.. need my help so, called mi to help them.. by the time i reach there, they are like by the road side lo.. anyway... sent fen home liao.. den sit by the coffee shop for a cup of tea den i headed back to send my dad to the airport.. and by the time i reach home was like.. 7plus am in the morning.. and i slept till jus now..

and.. i feel tat i have lost my friends.. everyone is like busy with their things.. non of them were free today.. and where is he? we've quarrelled and therefore again.. i jus feel like gettin out of the house.. yet i cant think of any place to go.. wanna find a fren yet they are not free.. i feel so lost.. i have no direction.. my heart is so painful once again.. guess tis is my weakness..

heartbroken me.. i noe i shouldnt have..

2009-05-16T18:05:00.002+08:00

its been days.. i've feeling lost.. wad should i do next? i noe i'm jus a failure.. =(

regrets

2009-05-14T20:57:00.002+08:00

something that i have done which i have not done for the whole of my 23 yrs of life.. i regret wad i have done.. and i noe once things done means done.. it cannot be undone.. i feel rather lost about myself and my behavior.. what is really happening to me? is it the surrounding and the words tat turn me into behaving such a way or i jus cannot take in anymore? I am not sure.. and seriously had had no idea of what is goin on in my life.. i am very shocked of wad i have done.. images were flashing in n out of my head.. i'm simply speechless.. i rant, i vent.. yet i regret.. i noe.. i cant be compared.. cause simply i lose out in everything i've done.. lose the direction.. lose the senses.. lose myself..

y am i always in such a way which i, myself couldnt even control..

lost,
kim

2009-05-08T14:04:00.002+08:00

thinking back.. its been a long time ever since i meet up with the girls.. it feel so so long.. or perhaps its really long.. and also.. very long not being to party with the girls as well.. sometimes really feel that being single is really good.. but.. being single and being attached, there are really two sides to it.. ok.. anyway.. i really miss the times with the girls.. especially times where we are out to k, bitch about, party and shopping.. miss those times though...

anyway.. being with him back like.. a month or so? changed a bit.. able to talk things out.. but sometimes.. there are still this little things we may argue about.. and.. i guess or mayb.. i m not feeling as much like before ba.. =(

oh again.. I LOSE MY JOB again.. Y?? the bosses dont seems to be able to get along well.. therefore, conflicts.. and I.. asked to look for better prospect job then being an all-rounder administrative.. and.. JOB-HUNTING again for me.. =( roars!! i wish i can go back to life as a student.. its much easier i guess.. jus buried myself in books and exams and projects.. i feel like studyin again.. as i thinks most of my friends are back to students again.. =)

i feel like goin out.. soaking the sun, the water, the moonlight.. everything.. and i wanna slim down.. realise or feel that i getting fatter.. OMG.. ok.. if any of you girls read mine this piece of blog.. do ask mi out ok.. =)

to be continued...

sunshine after rain

2009-04-28T16:51:00.002+08:00

whOo.. sunshine after rain.. late again for work.. as usual.. haha.. dun intend to wake up de.. raining and coolin weather early morning.. so nice.. snuggling in my bed.. but.. i still drag myself to work.. cause there are a number of things i do not noe.. the numbers tat they gave mi to do some calculations.. and YES! calculating like a umpteen times and non talies at all.. and how come.. thanks to my super temper boss.. Mr. Marcus aka as frog.. tell me to multiply carpet by height lo.. was arguing the day before with him la.. carpet where got height.. den say wad height of partition.. nonsense la.. but anyway.. argue-ing with him is like.. yea.. i am always wrong while he is always right.. hot temper boss cum 'bro'.. -.-"

anyway.. was having dinner with fen ytd at xing wang at kovan.. usual dinner place.. lol.. den she asked mi to go back office to buy food for her boy lo.. anyway i always need to go back settle somethings as well.. so go back lo.. and i nv meet bao n meixian ytd.. sorry gals.. was talkin n gossiping.. haha.. all the goods and the bads.. erm.. she having those marriagable mood.. cause everyone around her seems to be gettin married soon.. so.. she also go bonkers abt it.. haha..

ok.. and i'm fine after some venting.. ranting and shouting.. give in give in till the day i cant give in anymore meaning.. give up.. too much tolerance in mi le after 'him'..

some thoughts

2009-04-24T14:12:00.004+08:00

yup.. late again for work.. as usual.. my mood been rather down down down the road.. down the stream.. had quarrels again.. is it really a good thing? i feel so tire.. dun feel like mentioning them again.. for those who heard abt it.. thanks for the ear.. my heart sunk.. feelings dropped again.. heart is again being pierced.. anyway.. i need to get back to work.. shall blog again..

::24th Apr 2009::

was late again for work today.. overslept.. well.. i think sleepin had become another hobby of mine.. haha.. anyway.. i had this thought.. relationship seems to b complicated.. and.. it can be descibe using the pizza.. lolx.. i'm not hungry nor am i craving for it.. jus a thought tat jus flow thru my mind.. haha..

why do i say so.. erm.. if the chef put in effort in making the pizza.. it would turn out to be nice and tasty.. but if the chef dun put in effort in making it.. it'll taste awful and sucky.. the ingredients are the little things in life where we bring into the relationship.. happy.. sour.. sorrow.. then.. the time will be how we walk our relationship down the road.. well.. this is jus some little thought i had.. haha..

perth trip

2009-04-23T17:28:00.002+08:00

yippy.. i'm back from my perth trip for a week.. ya.. now then tot of blogging..
anyway.. i had fun over the other side.. things were not as hectic and 'chaos' as compare to here.. life down there were relaxin.. slow and peaceful.. slow.. haha.. suits mi best i guess.. cause i am really slow.. bought quite a number of things back.. went transperth ferry to the perth zoo.. went for ferry down swan valley.. went casino.. went fremantle market and outlet shopping.. many others too.. anyway.. had relax my mind, my heart and my soul i guess..

and.. now.. back to work.. been rather busy.. but i dun seems to feel the pace.. wondering y.. but mayb soon.. i feel it le.. things feel quite different for mi though after i'm back.. dunno y too..
anyway.. i'll blog again.. cause.. i feel hungry now.. haha.. to be continue... =P

2009-04-06T15:51:00.002+08:00

had been pondering over many issues in my mind.. pretty much i guess.. anyway.. wasn't able to get much sleep recently.. again.. i dont feel like goin home.. went drinkin with friends the other day.. but left half way though.. wasn't in the mood ba.. but still had a few drinks and my lambo..

i noe people do say forgive and forget.. take it easily and 拿得起,放得下.. but in the actual fact how many people can do it within a short period of time? (say.. 3days? 1 week? 1 month?) well.. maybe there are really people like this.. but.. it does not referred to all people feeling and behaving the same way. (Or perhaps, only the male species have the same behaviors..) cause most of the times, they are the one changing girlfriends, as if they are changing clothes.. though sometimes people said that they moved on, they are able to get on with their new life.. how true is it from their mouth? in fact.. maybe from deep down, they also feel lonely at times and thinkin back of what had happened that result in today's happening..

i noe i belong to which category.. but sometimes, in my little corner here.. i jus want to vent them out.. jus something here for me to throw them out.. and i noe there are many much worse cases out there.. and i should be glad i am one of the lucky ones.. but.. its jus the cutz in there.. and the best medicine is to allow time to heal all wounds.. no doubt its pretty painful..

anyway.. i just cant remember what i wanna continue.. been feeling my brain is getting smaller and smaller each day.. and its not absorbing like i am during the school times.. rather and more forgettful now and then.. its like.. been gettin scolded most of the time at work for doing the wrong things.. but.. i'll still try my best..

*feeling very tire.. wound still hurt.. speechless & breathless..

2009-04-04T19:27:00.002+08:00

I'm simply missing you so much..

2009-04-04T02:34:00.002+08:00

the 11th day after break up...
go to work as usual.. but wakin up feeling damn sulky.. dun even feel like goin to work.. but jus drag myself to office.. tryin to do up everything.. re-do the quotations, invoices, debit notes, etc etc etc.. tryin to get myself as busy as possible.. the feeling deep down was not as good as it is... been thinkin i was fine.. but who knows.. wakin up early today.. feeling damn sucky.. such a heavy feeling.. so painful.. =(

I'm not wanting to wait for any of his calls or texts.. but.. seems like the more u want to do it.. the more difficult it gets.. but seriously i am tryin hard.. i jus wan to be like any of u girls.. who can be strong and independent.. decisive and clear minded.. and it seems like i need more time.. i want to get over it.. i hate such feelings.. =(

to bao and pong...
pong ar.. i can differentiate which is bao n which is you la.. dun need fake de.. anyway.. you also rubbish de.. say us.. in the end you also back to ur square one.. go enjoy ur trip with meimei ba.. bao and i.. we can be strong de la.. and i noe.. bao did it le.. i trust and i believe i can too..

i should be fine

2009-04-02T13:33:00.002+08:00

today is the 10th day after the break up.. the wound still seems quite fresh and yet at the same time it seems like its gettin better.. anyway.. been busy at work place or its jus i am trying to make myself as busy as possible.. so as not to think too much about the pain and everything.. friends are telling me that there are many other better men out there.. jus open up to more choices ba..

anyway.. went drinkin again ytd.. this time round.. i didnt cry and was actually enjoyin the companion of my girlfriends.. is it that i have grown up from the pain that was caused from the previous relationship.. i hardly cry.. not because i dun miss him or i m not feeling the lost and pain.. i do feel those hurt and pain.. jus somehow the tears are not rolling anymore.. perhaps.. i already feel numb to it.. friends are telling me that.. it mayb due to because of too many quarrels and he's only a companion to me only.. anyway.. i also felt strained by the relationship too.. and maybe this is really a better choice for me.. anyway.. i also take it as a learning experience for me.. knowing what went wrong and why it turn out this way..

in a relationship.. it always take two hands to clap.. since one is already not clapping.. so what's the point having only one hand to clap.. so it's over.. should not feel pain anymore.. i have to be strong.. =)

freaking hurtz!

2009-03-30T11:52:00.002+08:00

so sick and tire.. as if i noe the procedures of getting a cheque book from the bank.. there isn't any direct line as of known to me tat i can call in to request for it.. and well.. eventually i got a scolding from the boss.. wtf.. its not i didnt try to do anything to get and to help.. but i did lo.. yet i was being blame for it..

anyway.. went km8 ytd with bao, juan, ws and my frenz.. its at sentosa.. relaz and to relieve the stress after a week of work? been feeling rather moody and blank in the mind.. though its over.. but guess the wound is still fresh.. that's y i am still feeling the pain.. in the relationship i may have my faults in it.. and i repent and learn from it.. but he doesnt seems to noe where his faults lies in and always thinkin he was right.. he was never ever at fault.. sometimes i really dun understand how a guy's ego can bring them up to? perhaps only one day they will get destroyed by their own ego..

perhaps.. why am i still feeling pain? this is the Q i should ask myself.. he doesnt noe where he is at fault... why should i feel miserable? why mus i feel pain? he wont know a single bit about it.. cause he still think he is right in the relationship.. ytd.. bao n juan were tellin me.. in a relationship, it always take 2 hands to clap.. indeed.. and.. wad i should be doin now.. is to live better then he is.. to move on and proceed with life.. he is simply maybe too young for me.. i should actually stick to my principles in not being together with people younger then mi.. hah.. now i find it a joke to myself..

and 1 of them ask mi.. if i ever went out with his circles of friends.. i didnt.. initially was i do not want tat to happen.. but when i tot of it.. there isnt.. cause eventually i went out with him and the friends.. but this group of friends were colleagues (airforce school classmates). they were askin mi if he has any close friend of circle of friends.. i simply cant answer cause i do not know.. and somehow.. i got to noe things he said to my friends.. simply its so hurting and so childish.. how can he be a bf in this case? or perhaps its all this ego attitude that turn him into friendless person.. too many things.. too many hurtful sentences.. i know.. i'm partly at fault.. i cant blame him too much.. but still he is at fault too..

its time to learn.. to be strong.. to stand on my own feet and to move on.. but.. tryin hard for the time being to heal my wounds.. its painful.. *ouch*

everything's over

2009-03-29T16:50:00.002+08:00

maintaining a relationship is really not an easy task.. relationships starts off happily and sweetly.. some end up happily ever after while some end up separate ways.. well.. so wad is my story.. it ended..

many things happen throughout our relationship.. it do start off happily.. but it ended up bitterly.. things were sweet initially.. but mayb we were not meant to be.. ups and downs were there most of the time for the past few weeks.. its rather painful for the time being.. but hope things will be able to smooth down soon..

after the end of our story.. it seems like i was left with not much friends.. because of him.. he hardly want mi to have times as in private time with my own friends.. so it jus seems like i left with not much friends.. been stayin home rot since.. or perhaps we are jus too busy with our own things ba..

mayb time will heals ba.. and mayb i need some quiet times to peace my thinkin.. and.. guess i should be meeting up with the girlfriends and chill..

2009-03-23T16:27:00.002+08:00

i been very tire.. feeling so stuffy inside mi... rather heavy though..
a feeling i really dunno how to explain.. many things may have left unsaid.. but somethings are really said and its really difficult to take them back.. too many hurtful words.. too many words that doesnt go thru that skull of urs.. in turn allows me to feel hurt.. i tried to give in, put in effort, do whatever i can, and at least i tried.. but somehow.. that sentence and words seems to be always by the mouth of yours.. now.. i have been thinking.. is there a need to carry on or not.. its been rather tiring.. mayb someone out there will suits u better then i do.. jus simply being friends may be better..

i feel down

2009-03-16T14:30:00.002+08:00

just gotten back from my trip to genting with jim.. tiring trip but we had our fun and we rested..
didnt really go out to theme park as it rains heavily.. so.. stay in the shopping mall.. and most of the time in the casino.. neither win or lose.. but he wins..

ok.. many things happen over the past weeks.. some things i didnt mean it to happen tat way.. but it happen.. anyway.. lifes are going up and down.. no straight thru road or short cut i guess.. sorry to my fren.. i didnt mean to keep things from her.. but.. anyway.. its over.. so.. since we are ok.. den i feel relief and fine... i hope she is fine too.. =)

seems like many things are happening now.. guess.. i should keep myself away from many many things.. i feel so down.. so tire.. jus wanna all dark clouds to be cleared off.. and my rainbow days are back again..

maybe i noe too many things which i shouldnt noe? or is it my mouth that is shooting things off? or am i too busybody? jus wanna be a fren.. a fren to my fren who is in need.. anyway.. really hope everythings is cleared.. everyone's temper can cool down.. no quarrels.. no fights.. no arguements.. no tears.. jus the pure and innocent laughters from everyone..

what's goin on...

2009-02-24T15:46:00.002+08:00

its been some time i blog.. well.. many many or tons of things had happened the passed few days.. couples were broken up.. mostly were on valentine or after valentine.. and as for mi.. i always wanted surprises but yet i wan to find out what the surprises were.. and so.. *bloom*

went to genting with my daddy and sister.. and back to celebrate valentine with him.. but who noe.. i said something wrongly and he quarrelled with mi over the issue. well.. i could say he's really not tat mature to a certain extend of wad i have thought.. i do not want a break up.. but the 'war'is still goin on.. then.. i am off to macau with daddy and sister.. and guess what.. when i am back.. i say nothing wrong or did nothing wrong.. and.. yes he quarrelled with me again..

well.. things are like.. a week only and there are 2 quarrels in a row? immature? selfish? self-centered? too tire to speak of anything.. quarrels now involved my friends which i hated it.. friends are around to help solve the problem.. but i m simply jus too tire to talk or to explain.. simply i guess we were suit for each other.. tryin hard to change for the better.. but things were being deny.. he's always right in a sense.. that he argued and never admit his fault.. therefore i say he is always right.. everyone had no rights to say or even do the wrong thing.. but he do.. i give in he also flare up at me.. too many too many things.. now i had to event involved my friends which make me feel guilty and sad about it..

Sorry my friends.. you noe who you are.. mayb all these are really part and parcel of life.. yet this time round.. i really very tire of the situation.. though he apologise and ask for forgiveness.. but i am still sorting out my thinking whether to give in to him still or to give up..

well.. perhaps he really did call my friends and complaint to them about every single little thing.. and now it seems to cause conflicts between me and my friends.. i find it seriously a childish act.. am i still me to carry on as if i noe nothing.. or should i jus give up.. in a relationship its all between us.. why does it had to involved my friends.. i feel hurt.. disappointed.. sad.. guilty..

i'm simply exhausted.. relationship is very very tiring in my case..

Happy Lunar New Year

2009-02-08T20:55:00.002+08:00

After so long.. i have yet to post the start of the new year.. now its comin to the end of the chinese lunar new year.. haha.. this new year.. i have been gambling and gambling.. all the way.. well.. luck not really been shinning on me.. but still won a few.. haha.. hopefully this year will be a fruitfull and meaningful and smooth year for mi.. wanna get the most prospective job which i can see myself in the coming years.. (well.. let's hope..)

erm.. and so fast.. things seems goin fine for me.. jus hope things can be better.. better then the present.. but not too greedy at the same time.. =)

so my new year new resolution....
1.to get a prospective job..
2.to be happy..
3.to be healthy.. and of course followed by wealthy.. ( not too greedy..)
4.to be fun and loving by all..
5.and.. to SLIM DOWN..
haha..

to be continued...

brand new year

2009-01-20T02:12:00.002+08:00

hello!! Happy 2009!! well.. its a lil too late.. but its still before the chinese new year.. haha.. so guess everyone are busy shopping for new year clothes, ang baos, flowers, fruits.. etc etc etc.. but somehow or rather.. i do not seems to feel the chinese new year mood.. or mayb jus tis lil.. went to china town to walk.. as usual is the crowd.. but not the feel..

and.. i have learnt how to bake pineapple tarts.. haha.. so happy.. first time learnt how to bake pineapple tarts.. and it was successful.. haha.. so i will continue my baking skills... more to come i guess.. then next time can sell liaox.. hOhOhO... lolx..

then.. recently meet up with meixian, con and bao.. but where is juan? seems like missing.. text her no reply.. call her phone off.. well.. heard con say her phone's dead.. (as in low batt) oh ya.. referring to her (juan) tag.. sorry.. disappointed you again.. but.. not again anymore.. i seriously know wad i am doin now.. and understand wad i am doin.. after so much i heard, so much of care and concerns from you guys.. i understand and i can feel them too.. thanks..

went shopping today.. erm.. no its yesterday since its 2plus am now.. got my hair colored and highlight.. a lil too bright i guess.. then.. meet up with con for some shoppin.. sorry make u waited for so long.. was busy looking for a bday present for her mom.. so went around looking.. then at the same time waited for meixian to come.. so.. meet up with meixian and fren.. walk around a while.. went to far east.. but nothing much and nothing caught my eyes.. went dfs.. meixian bought herself a foundation powder.. then took train back to amk to meet tay ah hui.. meet up with bao on train.. then went hk cafe at kovan for dinner.. like so long since we 4 girls met up.. where's juan.. dun mia le la.. XD and afterwhich.. jim came.. and home sweet home..

yawn.. been playing texas poker on facebook.. haha.. anyone wanna join me? haha..

*on my heels.. look for jobs..*

what a sucky and fuck up feeling

2008-12-15T02:12:00.002+08:00

alright.. i am tire.. well.. physically and mentally exhausted...

maybe one day.. if i do vanish from this world.. i may be glad..
these days.. after some incidents.. i guess.. i am losing my friends..
or is it because i start dating and i am losing all my friends..

and he is jus so no understanding in one sense..
or is he too young for me..
i am almost driven crazy by him.. i wan to end everything..
a while he is sayin this yet after he told u he is not at all blaming u..
but the fact is the meaning is there..
how the hell can there b no blaming??
i am seriously tire and exhausted..
who can actually understand the way i feel???
what the FUCK!

i wan my freedom back! not as if he didnt..
but its the mental freedom which i really need...
people pls pray hard you see me each and single day..
i wan to put a stop.. i am not happy at all..
this is really not happy... not like the way it used to be..
the feelings are sucky.. way too sucks..
mayb a break may help me so much...

i need a break.. i need a stop.. i need a breather..
else....

so tire..

2008-12-12T08:29:00.002+08:00

well.. almost poor but still surviving.. haha..
took up a part time job for like.. 4 days.. its workin with soh and bao..
so me and bao are taking shifts.. and its at yishun northpoint..
distance not too far.. and.. the first day of work seems fun and challenging..
y do i say so.. cause.. it has been way too long ever since i am a promotor..
pay wise.. erm.. not very good.. S$6 and commission =(.. haha..
but.. this little pay maybe can get me goin still..

ok.. and yesterday.. eh.. 11th november.. ha.. after work.. 5pm..
went to continue my survey job.. its like.. 2 jobs in a day? haha..
its like.. after standing for long hours.. den i had to walk to blocks..
from amk station.. i walk my way to the amk swimming complex..
den back to amk station den home.. long walk eh? lolx...

so.. after all the walkin.. went home bathe.. n went over his place for dinner..
and after dinner.. was slackin and watchin tv.. and.. proofff!.. i'm aslp..
see! i'm getting on age and gettin tire pretty soon.. well.. today..
last day of my part time job.. yea.. i'm so tire.. esp.. my legs..

to be cont....

Congrats!

2008-11-25T04:05:00.007+08:00

well.. firstly.. i guess i am fine after the BIG HUGE quarrel between us.. no more already.. we are still together.. and the air.. i guess is cleared.. and i hope it is.. i thought we should be over.. and i admit.. i was really tire of the relationship.. and not knowing where i should head on to.. somehow.. i dun feel like leaving him too.. mayb.. time will get us somewhere? alright.. mayb enough of us.. let's talk about the wedding dinner i attended on last sunday..

its.. alvin's BIG day.. haha.. congrats bro.. haha.. happy to see u getting settled with jacelyn.. haha.. alvin look great and jacelyn.. super slim and beautiful.. guess.. all women look the prettiest and most beautiful and gorgeous when the put their wedding gown on on their big day.. =) went to the dinner with bf, bao, juan and bf.. and after photo taking.. i realise.. its time for mi to slim down again.. I LOOK SUPER DUPER FAT!!! oh my god.. please help me.. hiax.. =(

photo with the bride and groom.. aww.. the 2 guys look slim.. while..

Me and him

Bao and Juan..

Me and Juan.. (i look FAT!)

Bao - Juan - Me..

ENOUGH MEANS ENOUGH!!!!

2008-11-21T04:24:00.002+08:00

I HAD ENOUGH!!!

may i ask.. when one is attached.. going out with the ex-bf or ex-gf.. is it a crime? Is it a should not do thing? is it tat after break up.. they are no longer be friends?

i dun wanna hear anything abt anything..
i wan nothing out of anything too..
i had enough...

since.. things seems to be my fault..
things.. seems that i shouldnt be doing this and that..
lock me up.. keep mi in the safe..
what i have done is so sinful.. then be IT!

i'm a sinner..

18 Nov 2008

2008-11-19T02:29:00.008+08:00

they said.. we look alike.. are we? =)

group photo of the gals.. with birthday gal..

gals again.. colorful isnt it..

Kexin's birthday.. group photo..

with the birthday gal..

the gals..

birthday gal blowing the candles..

update updates updatez...

ok.. its the month of november.. which means i am soon broke.. =(

from the calendar.. first.. we had lijuan's 21st birthday.. had a celebration at her condo function room.. (will upload with photos later..) next.. followed by kexin's 21st bithday at 438 bbq pit there.. had goodies bags and fanciful hats.. nice nice.. then.. followed by.. my 4 cousins birthdays.. broke.. super broke.. =(.. then.. weishan and meixian and my boy's birthday.. super many birthdays right.. and.. 18th Nov.. is bruno and samuel birthday.. happy birthday to you guys.. and.. guess wad.. i had another baby niece le.. hee.. born today too.. 18th Nov 2008.. baby mouse.. haha.. so cute.. haven had photos yet.. will go see mayb tomorrow? haha..

went out with dear jus now to walk walk and shop around.. went to cine for suki sushi.. yummy yummy.. he's tryin to make mi fat la.. den fat le throw mi away.. ('.') went to take neo-print.. guess the last time i took neo-print was when i was in poly ba.. so fun.. haha.. then back to shopping again.. and he saw this watch shop... hee.. he bought me a see through watch.. he simply see le den buy lo.. anyway.. thanks dear.. i love the watch.. hee..

then.. went down to jurong imm, meet up with juan and mel.. was supposingly goin to buy the gloomy bear de.. but who knows the aunt lie to us.. last week we went.. she say new stock comin in this week.. den when we ask if need to order.. she say dun need.. today went there.. she told us.. all already pre-ordered.. left one set only.. (pink n white) xmas edition.. cannot buy one alone lo.. if wan mus purchase both.. wad is the point to get two of the same thing but different color? the aunt nonsense lo.. den say.. if wan.. can purchase the pink one alone.. the white de.. cannot.. cause special.. she dun wan business den forget it lo.. den went giant to buy a few items.. den home.. cause dear need to go back camp..

economy downturn

2008-10-18T14:46:00.002+08:00

finally.. had time to post after such a long time..
exams.. assignments and projects.. finally come to a finale..
mayb this is really the last time i m taking papers and projects..
eh.. mayb not projects.. cause.. projects may come in during works...

ok.. the time when i had finally ended my uni study.. there comes economy downturn..
isnt it bad? seems like when i wanted to look for job.. there's no one hirin..
banks are havin head freezed.. though i noe i can find jobs elsewhere..
so.. i shall keep on looking then.. -.-"

recently the aussie dollars drop too.. mayb it will be good to buy some and keep?
lolx.. some says.. it may took around 6 months to a year for the economy to
turn back into its proper status.. but will it get better or it get worse?
and.. the salary.. everything is goin up.. will the salary do too?

i need money!! i need work!! slackin somemore will make mi lazy..
i dont wanna be lazy la... roars!!!!!!!

2008-08-28T15:02:00.004+08:00

read from somewhere.. and its kinda true..

"没有付出，没有期望，就不会有伤害"

i have been so soo soooo tire.. projects after projects.. and they dun seems have any ending at all.. i only get to slp tis morning 4 plus am.. and for the past few days it is the same.. yawns.. when am i breaking down.. will i break down?? hiax..

he was encouraging me to finish wad i had to finish yet rest early.. but.. i cant.. cause.. i really had to finish them all.. these few weeks gonna be hell for me.. i have told u tat.. and thanks for being there talkin to me.. comforting me.. =)

*yes.. its u..*

on the other hand.. while busy with all the works.. many things also came right into my mind.. it is so frustrating.. nothing seems perfect.. and i noe.. nothing is perfect on earth.. and so does human beings.. think i was too stressed out.. and pressurize.. sms jim and he called mi early in the morning.. when talkin to him.. somehow.. things seems fine.. after puttin down the phone.. i start throwin my temper at him.. i m so sorry.. telling him all the things.. and simply.. i started to hate the life i am having now.. everything..

alright people.. i noe.. i have said tat i will live for my life.. for the future.. etc.. etc.. but its not because of jo.. or maybe partly is.. guess i am jus too stress up.. i need a break.. seriously a nice break.. jus take some time off if possible to allow mi to fly.. mayb fly over to look for him.. or jus to a place where i can seek peace and travel alone.. yes.. i need peace.. a peaceful mind and heart..

anyway.. right now i jus wanna get over and done wit my study.. grad and then it will be time for me to relax and enjoy for a few days before the start of work.. yes.. i will be job seeking too.. anyone had any recommendation.. do let me noe.. hee.. *lazy*

shall take a nap..

free & easy

2008-08-26T20:43:00.002+08:00

learning to let go.. setting him free.. free-ing myself too..
i feel more relax and life's better for me i guess..
someone ever told me that without him.. life will get even better..
and i agree with xiu.. not gonna waste my youth for this man..
he does not worth my time.. he disappoint me once and again..

alright.. life is also getting busier and busier for me..
projects.. assignments.. exams are coming.. gosh!
next will be applying for jobs..
*phew* time really passing fast each day..
i seems growin older and older.. hiax..

life doesnt seems to be perfect.. and mayb because of this..
then tis is life.. so what i have to do next.. work hard for my future?
then.. shall wait for my other half to look for me.. lol..

2008-08-22T03:03:00.001+08:00

busy busy busy....

i m missing you..

hurt no doubt its still there.. but its recovering soon.. cause i'm learning to let go... setting myself free as well as him.. no more cuts n wounds anymore...

2008-08-11T03:05:00.002+08:00

guess.. i have been feeling moody again..

assignments and papers.. they piling on me..
another reason.. its him again.. though i said i would like to 'just leave it'.. but.. have i done it?guess the answer should be probably no..if i actualy would 'just leave it' i think i wont be feeling tis way..

thanks alot jim for bringin me around when u book out.. jus to make mi smile and for the moment.. sacrificing eating ur ice cream.. jus to try catch those gloomy bears from the ufo machine.. i really dunno wad to say to u.. i noe u're nice to me..

i cant get to sleep.. not wanting to do any of the assignment yet.. he say to meet me.. but in the end he's still out wit his friends.. billiard-ing.. well.. mayb to him now.. friends are his priority.. i noe we are not together.. but.. the thoughts are always there.. i seriously dunno what the future holds.. like wad bro was sayin.. the facts are placed so clearly right in front of you.. its only you choose not to accept the fact that he is like tat.. am i blinded? can i simply jus leave it? wild thoughts are just flowing around.. and tears are jus filling my eyes.. its totally different..

i dunno y i cant accept the fact.. then tat will make me feel better.. simply a word or an action from him jus pierce a wound on me.. i want to move on.. and this is simply gettin draggy.. its tiring.. i cant set my mind on one decision.. everything jus seems so painful..

2008-08-05T00:09:00.002+08:00

moody

sad

stressful

movie

2008-08-04T03:13:00.002+08:00

went for movie with joven den supper with friends..
things seems better for us? i duno..
should i feel glad if it is?
or should i dun feel anything for it?
i dun really wanna know the real feeling inside..

mayb i jus wanna get away with whatever it is..
jus leave it..

and.. i also been thinkin abt all the words u people have been telling me..
how true can one's word be? can they be trusted?
will i get hurt again? seriously.. jus feel like jus like tat..

anyway.. mayb.. the top priority to me now.. study and work..
mayb in another way of numbing myself.. =)

can you tell me what i should do next?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

alright.. went drinkin again.. but tis time round.. is with xiu..
anyway.. both of us.. felt moody.. for the same reason i guess..

so.. we went to raining bar, (kor's frenie pub)..
and.. we are tryin to get ourselves drunk i guess..
soon later.. her colleague came to join us..
and we had 3 buckets of heinken..
i am not a beer drinker.. so.. 2 bottle of heinken can actualli get mi down..
and.. surprisely.. i had 3 bottles.. and i feel floating..
anyway.. xiu had 4bottles.. but told myself.. i cant get drunk..
so.. joven came to pick me up as usual..
went to og for a while.. den.. back to fetch xiu and colleague..
she vomitted.. and i guess.. she's realli to the limit..
never seen her so down and drunk.. 1st time for the 9 years of friendship..

anyway.. gal.. dun think too much ba.. everything will be fine..
sayin is easy.. but with determination u can de..

busy and tire

2008-08-04T03:09:00.002+08:00

well.. had not been blogging for sometimes..
yes.. been gettin busy as school started..
oh.. yea.. sch had moved! moved to upper thomson road..
which means.. its now much nearer.. and i dun have to get traffic jams..
isnt it nice? but anyway.. the sch gate is so high..
my car under-carriage got hit when i enter the sch the first day of reopen..
sad isnt it? =(

life now.. school.. work.. assignments..
tat is my life currently.. somehow.. been enjoying working..
setting a certain target for myself and hit the target..
school works and assignments as usual.. tons..
mid term tests are coming up too...
wish there are like.. 36 hours in a day? i doubt its enough...
tests and more assignments and more weightage in everything..
had to score well for the last sem to get good gpa..
sadded...

Happy Birthday to Xiu

2008-07-24T01:33:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to xiufen.. my dear gal...
haha.. celebrated her birthday in advance on tue..
went to suki sushi for buffet before heading home..

got her a dress.. and she got mi a bracelet.. nice..
thank you gal.. haha.. u really noe wad i am thinking..
was thinking of buyin myself a bracelet.. and..
there you go.. u got mi one.. thanks alot.. i love it.. lolx..

den.. after sendin her home.. meet up wit the suzzis at east coast..
headin down to simpang for supper.. was jus too tire.. so home..

and.. today.. was slackin all the way at home.. till 4pm..
prepare and start work with juan at 6pm..
this time round the addresses are not good at all..
all the 'wulu wulu' places.. so dark.. so scary..
for 3 hours.. we only get 1.. how to survive sia..
hdb would be a better choice i guess.. =(

just too bad..

mixed feelings came again visiting me..

sadded..

presents 15 jul 2008

2008-07-18T00:12:00.006+08:00

To all the people.. hee.. thanks a million for celebrating my birthday with me.. it had been a blessing for me.. to have all of you around me.. i love you people.. muackx.. since last sat till today(thursday).. haha.. thank you very much.. i really appreciate it.. Loves and misses.. =)

CK bag from joven

Burberry Brit from poly friends
Precious moment figurines from Jim
Anna Sui make-up from the gals.. & kor..
Car tag from bro & sis

Thank you

2008-07-18T00:08:00.002+08:00

yes.. the start of the term break is here again..
this time round its early due to the sch relocation..

anyway.. my poly friends asked mi out today for dinner..
well.. thanks alot people.. your celebrated my birthday for me..
haha.. though its belated.. due to ur and mine busy schedule.. hee..
went to swensen to have dinner.. erm.. as well as celebrating jason's..
haha.. jus too bad.. andy was on duty.. each of us take one date..

ok.. thanks alot for the perfume too.. those who are not there..
thanks alot too.. hee.. i shall meet up wit u people soon again yea?

cheers..

heartening

2008-07-17T00:22:00.003+08:00

firstly.. since joven's daddy was askin him y i never go their place for some time.. so.. i went to his place jus now to have dinner.. and after dinner.. joven bring mi to taka to get the calvin klein handbag.. and.. again.. we reach there around 9pm.. the shop is closing again.. but.. luckily.. they still allowed us to purchase the bag.. and it was the last piece.. thank you so much.. i love the bag.. thanks alot.. and thanks for bringing mi out..

and he msged me.. asking mi to be with joven better.. well.. i noe i m not doin the right thing.. somehow.. i really feel so so sad.. i m realli sad.. tears rolling.. and the words he told me.. seriously.. he was on the phone wit mi now.. and the words he said to me.. i noe.. he'll leave one day.. or perhaps.. i should be the one leaving.. i dun wanna had such feelings..

everything is messing up.. its disheartening.. i need a break.. or.. T.T

i wanna cry..

Celebration with Joven

2008-07-15T23:33:00.006+08:00

at my place..

roses.. cake.. me & him..

eating away the ice cream ignoring me.. *herm*

roses from him
Cake from him
-Dan's Ryan-

~WE!~
~me again~
-us.. and still us..-

..me while waiting for him to finish what he is doing..
..holding on to the roses he gave me..

when the clock strike 12.. it be the 16th jul..

that marks an end to my birthday..

as well as.. Joven's break up with me for 1 year..

time flies.. but.. anyway...

he celebrated my birthday with me today.. he bought me a bouquet of roses with 3 red roses buddle right in the middle.. telling me tat is the important one.. and apologise for not being able to get the blue ones for me.. *nvm..* brought me to Dan's Ryan for dinner and then head to taka to buy me a present.. though time was pressing.. and we were walkin around searchin.. but.. nevermind.. we shall go again tml.. he's tryin to get me the calvin klein handbag.. jus too bad.. the boutique close le by the time we reach.. and taka had no new stock.. so.. we probably goin back tml again..

he makes me angry easily.. no doubt..

he also makes me feel loved too.. *dilemma*

i noe.. i noe.. *confused*

i guess most probably time will tell me what to do next..

thanks people for celebrating my birthday with me..

thanks for greeting and sendin me best wishes..

thanks for the presents..

and....

thank you for calling all the way from aussie to send ur greetings to me..

do fly safe and take care.. see ya.. misses...

*..i love you all..*

lastly.. i'm old..

a picture speaks a thousand words

2008-07-15T01:56:00.009+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

me and my cake

kaixin.. who wants me to remember her forever.. lolx..
birthday cake from xiu n xin..

my dear gals.. besties for 9 years..

..party at phuture with the gals..

i love tis picture.. she's jus so cute..

me

Manhattan Fishmarket with Jim

Happy Birthday to myself

2008-07-15T01:23:00.004+08:00

hey!.. i am growing older n older la.. but.. still..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF.. lolx..

jus had a mini celebration with my dear gals.. haha.. xiufen and kaixin.. thinkin back jus now.. we are hittin our 10th anniversary of friendship.. tat was fast.. and.. we are old.. thanks alot ger.. for celebrating my birthday wit mi.. despite the busy schedule u gals are having..

yup.. celebrated my birthday over the weekend..
bao, meixian, juan, con, weishan, caiyun, ting, kexin, yonghui celebrated my birthday for mi.. as well as.. jim, alfred, seanie.. haha.. thanks alot people.. and.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to yong hui too.. haha.. had celebrated the birthdays at zouk/phuture.. was kinda blur i think.. yonghui was bringing out a cake.. and i tot they are doing it for him.. but.. they were sayin.. the cake is for u.. haha.. thanks alot gers.. i was so blur until the 2nd or 3rd time ur are tellin mi.. i love you people. haha..

seanie, alfred and jim.. they ordered 6 jars of mixed alcohol la.. tryin to make mi drunk?? lolx.. alfred was like askin me.. wad other drinks u wan.. wanna some 80 shots?? tat was crazy la.. cause.. its 1 for 1.. so it will be like.. 160 shots.. so he also asked juan.. juan jus say NO.. siaox lo.. haha.. tat was too much.. we gers though a number of us.. but we cant finish.. haha.. mi too.. sayin a no.. cause.. i scare i'll puke.. but anyway.. thanks alot alfred.. nice drinkin wit u too.. haha..

alright.. in the noon.. fetch mr jim from camp.. den.. to his place.. after unpackin and stuff.. he brought me to manhatten fishmarket for lunch.. celebrating my birthday for me.. yup.. jus the 2 of us.. nuthing much.. den.. he asked mi to the arcade to play the big sweet machine.. and within a while.. spend abt.. 30?? we got 2 jackpots.. den home sweet home.. haha.. cause gotta meet up the rest for party.. thanks alot 'lover' for the surprises.. and not forgetting.. the 2 precious moment figurines he got for me.. they're lovely.. thanks alot.. hee..

and.. during the weekend.. sunday.. i bought a cake for my aunt too.. happen to fall on the same day.. so.. had another round of celebration at home with all the relatives.. and... of course.. receiving a number of ang baos.. haha.. mummy was sayin.. u grown up le.. still take ang bao.. lolx.. ok.. i m old.. dun kip reminding me.. =.=" anyway.. thanks alot.. hee..

*will post the photos asap..*

disappointment one after another

2008-07-08T17:40:00.004+08:00

its disappointment one after another..
its again joven.. indeed.. i jux can seems to take him away from my life..

being good to him.. treasure him.. but he is jus takin me as a fool.. i hate him.. seriously.. explaining to me.. how he is not related to those girls surrounding him.. but yet he can spring surprises towards them.. he is no longer the joven i used to noe.. no longer the one that used to dote care and love me.. yup.. since 1 year ago.. he is no longer the joven i used to noe anymore.. not anymore.. he is becoming such a flirt.. a jerk.. i wish i was blind at least i could feel better.. but y is he always taking me as a fool.. am i realli so gullible? when will he start to grow up?
should i really agree with wad his ex-gf said.. felt happy to have left him.. though had feelings for him.. but jus cast them aside.. all the messages were damn disgusting.. friends are jus tellin mi..he is jus a flirt.. y bother so much.. some were telling mi.. i m worth a much much better guy then him.. y bother..

i realli wonder wad kind of definition is he holding on to.. i m controlling him.. wad kind of person is he tryin to portrait himself to the others.. takin close pictures with girls and upload on his friendster etc.. tryin to prove how attractive he is? simply its all bullshit.. without his dad.. he is zero.. simply zero with a hollow shell..

its simply disheartening.. disappointment one after another..

school starts

2008-07-07T15:35:00.003+08:00

erm.. it has been sometimes ever since i post yea..
well well well.. schools starts for me.. and it seems busy..
had to concentrate and complete my last sem so i can grad in time..
anyway.. got mc for today and tomorrow.. down with fever, sore throat, cough and flu.. sadded.. no voice to talk.. =( so had to stay home to rest..

erm.. for sometimes i never heard from u.. wonder if u are still reading my posts.. been rather busy and i guess u too.. flying up and touchin down.. =) anyway.. do take good care.. i miss you..

from previous posts that i am talkin abt joven.. hiax.. guess.. he is no longer the guy i used to have.. mayb he is much more of a flirt.. girls are surrounding him.. many many girls.. upset me.. but wad can i do.. mayb its realli time to let go.. shouldnt have hold on.. by explaining so much to me.. tellin me nothing between him and those girls.. but jux take a look back.. it always takes two hands to clap... if u dun reciprocate.. will they do the same thing? i really dun wanna get hurt and got cheated again.. i dun wan the feelings of guessing and tryin to make out what kind of life u are having when u r not wit mi.. the feelings sucks.. if u choose to have such life.. go ahead.. i guess i wont stop u from doing so.. its ur life afterall.. u choose the path.. u dun regret..

and for mi.. i guess.. i am simply afraid of gettin hurt once and again.. hiding up.. keeping to myself.. learning to get up.. that's what i m doin all the while.. or its jus a plain old naive me.. that is really lookin or awaiting for the true love to appear.. for someone who really accept and love me for who i am and what i am.. caring, loving and doting me.. jus in ur eyes.. there's only me..

Boston_ Augustana

2008-06-25T19:38:00.003+08:00

well.. i fell in love wit this song Boston by Austana.. here's the lyrics...

in the light of the sun, is there anyone? oh it has begun...
oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
this world you must've crossed...you said...

you don't know me, you don't even care,
you don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

essential and appealed, carry all your thoughts across an open field,
when flowers gaze at you...they're not the only ones who cry
when they see you you said...

you don't know me, you don't even care,
you don't know me, you don't wear my chains...

she said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,I think I'll start it over,
where no one knows my name,I'll get out of California,
I'm tired of the weather,I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston, I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new tow, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice...
Boston...where no one knows my name...

trip to malaysia

2008-06-22T05:28:00.002+08:00

sun 22 jun 08

i jus came back from my genting trip with my parents.. reach singapore around 3pm ytd..
up there.. i tryin hard to recall the very last trip i went was how long ago.. and with who.. and guess what.. the very last trip up to genting was with joven.. while walkin around.. saddness jus filled mi up... and tears almost roll.. somehow it jus bring back all the memories.. i feel so so sad..
anyway.. was thinkin of jus goin to work.. so i dun think of anything.. cause i dun wanna feel sad.. but was jus too tire from the journey.. so i slept till around 7pm.. den bao call me.. so.. went movie together at marina square with juan, weiqi, kexin and yonghui.. we watched .. not a bad movie.. was funny.. but i jus feel giddy a while later due to the motion of the camera i guess.. *faint*

and guess wad.. when me and bao reach the carpark of MS.. we saw sengkiat and debao.. den went to meet up with them.. and we saw kat and bruno.. haha.. wad a coincidence.. den.. we saw meixian, con and company.. haha.. it just seems like all our frens jus gather there.. and meixian, con & co. were watching the same movie as us.. and at the same time.. haha.. this is really coincidence lo.. haha.. so long no see this fren (mx) of mine.. haha.. after which.. send bao, kexin and yonghui home.. den meet joven, sk, teck and fa..

speaking of joven.. hiax.. sometimes.. i jus wish i can jus dun give a damn to anything.. seriously.. each time.. i only feel terrible.. and indeed the feelings jus sucks.. sucks big time.. probably i'm the one that went to look for the sucky feelings.. who can i blame.. no one else.. its ME! =( each time.. i jus feel like cryin.. (i noe i m one big cry baby...) though we both are not together.. but.. all the times he keep tellin me which girl he went to meet and who and who.. the feeling jus sucks.. and ya.. he and the gf broke up.. the gf was tellin mi.. she was glad that she chose to leave him.. so should i feel glad that i had already left him or should i feel sad about it.. and sometimes his words are jus so sacastic and hurting towards me.. and somehow.. he seems to have the power to jus make mi cry and tears all the time.. and yes.. its most of the time.. and while bloggin.. my tears almost roll.. i could feel the pain somehow somewhat inside.. (T.T)

and as for u.. i seriously dunno wad should i say.. all ur messages to me.. i understand what u mean.. but u r simply so far away from me.. mayb time will tell? we still got half a year more to go.. i really dunno what i should do.. i'm really confused.. i'll miss you too.. but...

sometimes i jus wish i can really dun give a damn to my feelings..

wed 18 jun 08

its wed.. and as usual meetin the gers for phuture.. time to drink drunk drank.. and of cox dance.. not to be missed.. haha.. jus that juan was not around.. she went bintan..

joven send mi there.. and before that.. we went for dinner first den off to phuture.. he drop me there den he off to meet his frenx.. den he said.. later when i wanna go home.. jus text him.. he'll fetch me.. after the dinner.. reach phuture.. but as usual wed Q was so super long.. it was till the valet parking and beyond.. and the bouncer already said its full for the ladies nite.. so.. i jus cut the Q and got my chop.. hee..

den.. with kexin, weishan, con, suet and kat to O bar to have the free drinks.. lolx.. had 3 shots.. den back to phuture.. continue drinkin.. had.. flaming lamboghini, apple shooters, etc.. den saw kaixin, sootao, chermin, jer and co.. AGAIN! jer dare mi to '2s' martell and chivas.. ok lo.. but he kip askin mi to drink la.. i noe i hit my limit le.. but idiot him.. so.. kat came to help mi drink.. but helping me drink.. had to drink '5s'.. nonsense him.. ROARS! and so.. kat had a bit too much.. and i think she was to high and she's drunk.. and she cried.. seeing her cried.. hiax..

and i had to go home.. so joven came to fetch me.. and on my way home.. i cried.. i really cried very terrible when i got home.. my eyes and face swell.. he.. indeed had the ability to jus make mi cry.. there isnt a need for him to be harsh towards me.. jus a few words.. kinda silly.. i tot.. feelings for him had died.. and he's already in the past.. but.. everything jus surface.. and he actually did hint mi on patchin up which was sometimes ago.. it took mi 9 months to stand up.. and.. i tot i had.. but.. inside i actually did not.. i guess...

i really dun wish to think..
dun wanna give a damn to it..
dun wanna feel sad and cry...
jus ordinary love (which is naive)..
i'm tire..

tiring day

2008-06-18T01:10:00.002+08:00

wow!.. just finish work.. haha..

and surprisingly i am home tis early today.. haha..
tat day was chatting with him online.. flight cancelled due to terrible weather..
and.. he told me.. he was worried when i was drunk..
i recalled.. did i actualli msg him or called him..and opps..
i actually called him and i totally had no idea i was calling him..
sorry to have worried u.. not intentional..

went to work alone today.. and yup.. not a bad response i got from the ppl in the neighbourhood of anchorvale and rivervale except one or two.. running for about like.. erm.. 3 to 4 hours.. got 8 survey done out of the 14.. so.. i'm quite contented wit the result.. hee.. but.. my poor leg are so tiring.. and YUP... i grow fat le.. so.. its time to take this as some sort of exercise.. haha.. >.<
well.. workin alone can be scary at nite.. and of coz.. without.....

JUAN! my darling.. she went to bintan to enjoy life for a few days..
and she should.. she deserve a rest and a short vacation..
life was not really good for her the past months.. anyway.. when she's back..
we shall work tgt like the way we used to.. its fun to work wit her.. haha..
i simply love her.. haha.. *muack*

alright.. shall update again.. cheers... nitey!

exams over

2008-06-14T03:02:00.002+08:00

yea.. exams over.. finally...

had not been bloggin due to busy schedules..
busy with projects and assignments.. den followed by tests and exams..

so.. now.. i have finished exams.. and had a 2 weeks breaks.. can relaz le..
shall start work liaox.. haha.. oh.. had got a part time job with help from issey..
not bad jus tat u gotta run around the blocks.. doin surveys.. i find it fun..

and.. i can use this as a 'jian fei' exercise.. haha...
oh ya.. i grow fat again le.. so sad.. i wanna cry.. cause stress.. i start eatin again..
so.. now... i need to get depress so i can slim.. lolx..
jus like wad jim was sayin me.. i am a 'tam jia gui'... yao siu lox..
haha... anyway.. he went for his bmt.. all the best..

and yup.. recently there are 2 cases of ppl dieing in tekong..
hiax.. so sad.. my condolences to the family members..
so hope everything is fine for those in tekong and are goin in..

alright.. good nite to all.. shall blog again the next time.. =)

fun job

2008-05-30T02:42:00.002+08:00

haha.. finally.. i got time to blog again.. haha...
and finally.. yes.. all my projects and assignments all finish and handed up..
but whether they are of quality work i am not sure..
cause.. its group work.. and i jus hope, ya.. we pass them...
anyway... its over.. no point dwelling.. so...
concentrate on the up coming exams ba... =)

erm.. wad have i been doin since tue.. haha..
been playing and slackin.. and.. was waken by calls.. and i got a shock..
i tot my uni frenx call mi up to tell me hey ger..ur late..
its time for proj.. which was like.. wad was goin on the last few days..
lolx.. silly me.. think been too into proj mood...
now mux get into the exam mood..

anyway.. issey got me, kexin, juan n weishan a part time OTOT job..
haha.. so went for the interview today.. and we all got in..
yea.. 4 of us.. and though its kinda tiring..
but i guess.. we enjoy.. as for mi n juan i guess..
we had to go to the specific address to do surveys..
and ya.. really had fun workin with juan..
without her or without me.. i think we'll cant make it for the job.. haha..

we turn the job into fun as we work and we walk..
i love her simply.. haha.. and i noe she do too..
BUT we R both STRAIGHT!! lolx..

alright.. shall update again with photos.. haha..

..i miss you baby..

freak out

2008-05-26T16:34:00.004+08:00

i'm freaking out..
i dun seems to have enough sleep..
i feel so stressed..
guess.. its the period where..
i get easily frustrated and agitated..

i'm tire..
i'm stressed!
i wan to sleep!!
i miss you..

may 08

2008-05-21T01:49:00.007+08:00

today.. had presentation.. so hit school around 1015am.. to finish the last bit for the presentation with my group mates.. anyway.. thanks clare for waking me up at 8am which eventually.. i fall back to slp again.. till 9am.. you wake me up.. haha.. sorry boy.. i utter nonsense i guess.. i am jus too sleepy.. anyway.. i guess i sounded blur to anyone ba.. in my sleeping mode.. haha..

and.. yes.. my group was the first to go for the presentation.. and we're done in 15mins.. was a short and sweet one.. the lecturer was happy with us.. *phew* den.. he came to school to look for me.. had lunch and a lil conversation and off he back to work while i attend my class.. everything jus seems so fine.. =)

anyway.. i guess.. i feel happy with my life.. i dun wan to become a reporting machine.. dun wanna get control over.. or mayb i have to wait for the right one to come and mayb i'll react then.. *confused* yet.. satisfied with my life.. =)

and.. i miss you...

Cindy & Kaixin
Cindy & me

...shuqin...

was busyin doin my assignments on monday.. and was suppose to meet kaixin, cindy and juan.. but juan was not able to meet us.. so.. nevermind.. so by the time i get sick and tire of the assignment i am doin.. i decided to meet the girls.. haha.. it has been such a long time since we last met.. kaixin and cindy.. so.. i meet kaixin to do a lil shopping at bugis street.. den meet cindy to go atar for prata.. erm.. guess i growin fatter day by day.. hiax.. wad a sad sad thing.. =(

anyway.. tat was my dinner.. but it looks more like supper to me.. so.. as we eat.. we talk and we chat.. and we talk about the past.. times during our secondary school.. haha.. it was so so so funny.. all of us grown up le.. the youngest cindy also turning 20 soon.. and of cos.. we took some photos.. and cindy ar.. u cant restrict ur bro having gf jus bcos ur dar in army.. haha.. =X anyway.. i had fun meeting u gers up.. haha.. shall see u soon again.. miss you girls..

post mother's day celebration

2008-05-19T16:51:00.007+08:00

lovely grandma
cousins
wenwen

her birthday cake

lil yihui

"i'm cute isn't it?"

yesterday.. had the post mother's day celebration at east coast Jumbo restaurant.. well.. we had reserved 4 tables and of course.. all the mothers are present.. haha.. the food was alright.. but i think their standards drop.. grandma was there too.. but she dun seems to feel well.. hiax.. she is the only one that is supporting me thru these times.. uncles and aunties were jus discussing how she will be in the future.. negative thoughts.. i'm not goin to think of it.. cause.. well.. nevermind.. anyway.. i hope everyone enjoyed yesterday dinner.. and.. happy birthday to lil cousin, wenwen.. hee.. took a few shots.. and.. my lil niece.. she is so so cute.. and she resembles me alot.. when i'm a baby too.. haha..

...i miss you dearly..

nice bags

2008-05-18T13:23:00.003+08:00

while busyin doing my assignments.. dont feel like goin out shopping.. so was browsing thru some online webbies.. fell in love with these bags.. haha.. i wish i could receive them durin my birthday.. haha.. mayb.. i could save up to get the bags.. haha.. mayb have to wait till christmas i guess.. haha.. but i guess i'll go for the pink one.. cause i simply love pink.. yawn.. enough of my nonsense.. shall update again.. busy back to work.. =(

Gucci
Burberry

tire

2008-05-17T01:38:00.002+08:00

i wan to sleep..
i wan to rest..
but i seems not gettin into sleep..
though i am very exhausted..

haix.. sometimes i'm jus waiting for his call..
jus a simple call from him or a text..
but anyway.. i miss him..

will update again..
..i miss you..